Sunday, September 23, 2018

Payback for my 13-year-old

Credit: Photodisc
Payback for my 13-year-old

Get out the chips and dip. Because this will be an event you won't want to miss.

As it happened, today was the day that I take my boys for their 'med-check' appointments. The therapist and also the woman able to prescribe medicine speaks to each boy to determine how things are going. Then, both boys head to the lobby and we talk about the boys and how things are really going.

After discussing my son's recent behavior, she said he's a teenager but he should not be disrespectful on a continuous basis. I explained my options and she suggested the following:

A) Have my son sit and watch my younger son enjoy his hour-long basketball/frisbee time with the trainer. When we go home and he starts having his tantrum, slamming doors, throwing and breaking things and so on, call the police.


B) Have my son work out with a male trainer who will put him through an hour-long 'how do you like being disrespectful now' session with me on hand to see him go through it.

I've chosen B.

I stopped by the gym to speak to a former college football player, who will be putting him through the ringer. The tough part is that I must be the one to explain in easy-to-understand terms to my son why he is about to go through this hour of physical discipline to account for his continuous lack of respect for me, his mother. I must provide specific examples and then turn him over to the trainer.

I will tell you that after talking with the trainer, I found myself shaking and a bit nervous. He's a great athlete, slam dunking with no problem. He's great trainer and a good person. But most of all, his shoulders cover both the east and west coast and his biceps have biceps.

I suppose the next entry will be the event itself.

Feel free to pray. My guess is that my son's spirit may finally be broken.

It will be an hour I know I won't soon forget. I just hope he doesn't forget either.

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8 comments on Payback for my 13-year-old

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By Cynthia Occelli on April 19, 2011 at 07:02 pm

Hi Gillean!

Long time no talk. I'd ask how you are, but I see your hands are full of teenage boy. :)

Maybe the very best thing would be to have the trainer spend some time role modeling good male behavior under the guise of guys getting in shape. The idea of having a training session from hell seems like a momentary deterrent rather than a solution, sort of like a spanking. Sooner or later your son will arrive at the truth that he doesn't HAVE to lift anything. I mean who can force him? On top of that it may kill any desire for him to be fit as an adult. There just has to be a better way. Using bad to cure bad doesn't work.

Using service to cure bad might work. Are there litter collection groups, cars to wash, people to deliver food to, destitute, disabled or ill people to help?

In my view a strong dose of human perspective would go far further than physical agony or humiliation.

What's your take?

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By BusinessLife on April 19, 2011 at 07:47 pm

I been quite busy talking with therapists and doctors who know him personally. There are many comments and other things that I would not publicly acknowledge in an open forum such as this. Suffice to say, the next step will be to involve the police. He needs to be scared straight!!

This comes from medical professionals and a mother who wants her son back. It's one thing to appreciate the teenage angst. It's another to be involved in a fearful situation.

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By BusinessLife on April 19, 2011 at 07:52 pm

Cynthia, good to hear from you, too! To add, the trainer is not his regular basketball trainer. Working with her is a privilege. She is not involved in this situation. Again, I have been there and back again. I can assure you that he has zero respect for me. He had told his football coach in front of me that he respects him more than me. He has done things that are past unreasonable. This comes after a very long, hard road and one of the last results.

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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on April 19, 2011 at 09:31 pm

i'd choose B also, but not (b)asketball...

boxin'!...theres more to the work-out than just hittin' the heavy bag. theres gotta be a legit boxin' gym out there.

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By BusinessLife on April 19, 2011 at 09:38 pm

Gotta love you Mean Mike. The reason why the boys go to this particular gym is because of their personal love for football and basketball and the athletes that they can have face-to-face access to.

No disrespect to you at all but at these ages, I don't allow my boys to watch anything that involves hitting other people. My oldest is sharp and tough. But he needs that male role model who remembers being a bit disrespectful in his day.

How about this...I can assure you that the hour will be a mixed bag of physical activity. He's very thin and tall. And we are changing his diet to begin to bulk him up. He is set to be 6'3" when all is said and done...according to doctors. There's a punching bag, a long bag that you can kick, too. Otherwise, lots of weight machines, cardio machines, steam room, pool, basketball court and hopefully one worn out 13-year-old who's had too many 'last words' in his short lifetime.

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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on April 19, 2011 at 09:49 pm

well thats right on BL...i think youre gonna be satisfied with the end result later on because youre putting alotta effort into this.

im in your corner, champ...

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By BusinessLife on April 19, 2011 at 09:57 pm

I'll take you in my corner every day and especially tomorrow. The trainer is a really good, young man. His slam dunks are 'slammin' and he is honest, fair and caring. I am thankful for this and much more.

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By BusinessLife on May 05, 2011 at 08:03 am

There is still some room for 'getting it out.' With puberty comes testoterone and so many thoughts left unspoken to a mom. But 8 suicides on the basketball court and then a good game of ball can help. At least he doesn't have the energy to play a game of smart mouth with me. :)

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