I spent my nights getting free alcohol from boys who were hoping to get lucky. I never gave I only took, but I did tell them that from the start, yet they asked for my company nonetheless. The vodka and hookah kept me company. As we sat and drank I only thought about the taste of Vodka on my lips and tongue. I didn’t really give much of an interest in the boy sitting across from me paying for my drink. I was too busy trying to plot my next drink. Maybe that’s not entirely true. I didn’t really do it on purpose all I did was smile and laugh and some boy around the area saw me and next thing I knew I had a drink in my hand. It was that easy. Happy people go a long way in life. Little did they know my soul was far from happy and was dwindling after each sip I consumed. I drank till I was out of it yet still had enough brain power to say “no” and know my way home. I was even able to stick to my “morals” and push a boy away. I always found it amusing when a boy saw me drunk and went in for the kiss, thinking I’d give in when he wasn’t even the one who paid for my drink. Drunk for me didn’t equal stupid, I was smart just in a twisted way.
One night I got completely carried away. My friend and I were getting as many free drinks as we wanted and I didn’t realize the shots were doubled. She was irresponsible and kept putting another drink in front of me knowing I was drunk and really had enough. I opened my eyes to see a group of worried faces around me, till my eyes closed again. My feet were running and walking on automatic mode, but their strength gave in every few seconds. I kept falling all over the streets in town. Next thing I heard was “get her off the glass” and again I opened my heavy eyes to see my leg bleeding and someone ripping my tights where the glass penetrated my skin, then closed my eyes again. I made it home with the help of a girl and boy carrying me the whole way. I threw-up everything that was in me, seriously. I woke up with a dried up bloody leg and a pounding head. What a night! I thought as I smiled and clean the blood. Twisted, would be an understatement. I took it easy on the alcohol after that and limited it to one drink, but that only lasted for a while. But I never went totally over the top after that.
In the summer I spent three weeks in LA. It was okay but I missed the late nights and the drinking, here I was underage, so that meant no bars or grocery store beers. So I knew I had to find a way. To my luck there was a kick-back (a small party) at the house I was staying. The parents were still out of town so it was just me and their son. He invited a few of his guy buddies and they drank and smoked. They offered me some vodka and I gulped it straight from one of those red plastic cups. A few minutes later I was on the kitchen floor with the guys around me laughing. I was embarrassed to say the least. Two of them took me to my bed and places me on my side. A few minutes later I made it out again and was talking to the son when I fell again. This time he took me into the room and told me to stay put and get some rest. They checked on me a few times through the night and the next morning I knew I had a problem that was not only making a fool out of me but was taking over me.
Saturday night I went to a party and a boy had a mini vodka bottle which he offered me. Little did I know it was his girlfriends and it led to a fight. My first thought was to gulp it and let loose. Then I looked at the bottle and knew what it meant, destruction and addiction. I put it in my purse and left it there. Everywhere I went I carried it with me, (even though if a cop stopped me I’d get on trouble but I didn’t care) it was a symbol to me, that I was more powerful than a bottle. I left it in my boyfriend’s car and told him to hold onto it for me. So when I return next summer I can easily turn it down and it will mean nothing to me. Till this day I haven’t had any hard alcohol or any really except a few sips of a beer but I gave that up to. I know who I am and alcohol doesn’t help me achieve my goals or benefit me in anyway. So I choose to leave my drinking problem in LA.