Sunday, July 22, 2018

I Left my Drinking Problem in LA

by taking off the mask (writer), Los Angeles, March 19, 2011

Self explanatory; Vodka, Drunk, and bars

I spent my nights getting free alcohol from boys who were hoping to get lucky. I never gave I only took, but I did tell them that from the start, yet they asked for my company nonetheless. The vodka and hookah kept me company. As we sat and drank I only thought about the taste of Vodka on my lips and tongue. I didn’t really give much of an interest in the boy sitting across from me paying for my drink. I was too busy trying to plot my next drink. Maybe that’s not entirely true. I didn’t really do it on purpose all I did was smile and laugh and some boy around the area saw me and next thing I knew I had a drink in my hand. It was that easy. Happy people go a long way in life. Little did they know my soul was far from happy and was dwindling after each sip I consumed. I drank till I was out of it yet still had enough brain power to say “no” and know my way home. I was even able to stick to my “morals” and push a boy away. I always found it amusing when a boy saw me drunk and went in for the kiss, thinking I’d give in when he wasn’t even the one who paid for my drink. Drunk for me didn’t equal stupid, I was smart just in a twisted way.

One night I got completely carried away. My friend and I were getting as many free drinks as we wanted and I didn’t realize the shots were doubled. She was irresponsible and kept putting another drink in front of me knowing I was drunk and really had enough. I opened my eyes to see a group of worried faces around me, till my eyes closed again. My feet were running and walking on automatic mode, but their strength gave in every few seconds. I kept falling all over the streets in town. Next thing I heard was “get her off the glass” and again I opened my heavy eyes to see my leg bleeding and someone ripping my tights where the glass penetrated my skin, then closed my eyes again. I made it home with the help of a girl and boy carrying me the whole way. I threw-up everything that was in me, seriously. I woke up with a dried up bloody leg and a pounding head. What a night! I thought as I smiled and clean the blood. Twisted, would be an understatement. I took it easy on the alcohol after that and limited it to one drink, but that only lasted for a while. But I never went totally over the top after that.

In the summer I spent three weeks in LA. It was okay but I missed the late nights and the drinking, here I was underage, so that meant no bars or grocery store beers. So I knew I had to find a way. To my luck there was a kick-back (a small party) at the house I was staying. The parents were still out of town so it was just me and their son. He invited a few of his guy buddies and they drank and smoked. They offered me some vodka and I gulped it straight from one of those red plastic cups. A few minutes later I was on the kitchen floor with the guys around me laughing. I was embarrassed to say the least. Two of them took me to my bed and places me on my side. A few minutes later I made it out again and was talking to the son when I fell again. This time he took me into the room and told me to stay put and get some rest. They checked on me a few times through the night and the next morning I knew I had a problem that was not only making a fool out of me but was taking over me.

Saturday night I went to a party and a boy had a mini vodka bottle which he offered me. Little did I know it was his girlfriends and it led to a fight. My first thought was to gulp it and let loose. Then I looked at the bottle and knew what it meant, destruction and addiction. I put it in my purse and left it there. Everywhere I went I carried it with me, (even though if a cop stopped me I’d get on trouble but I didn’t care) it was a symbol to me, that I was more powerful than a bottle. I left it in my boyfriend’s car and told him to hold onto it for me. So when I return next summer I can easily turn it down and it will mean nothing to me. Till this day I haven’t had any hard alcohol or any really except a few sips of a beer but I gave that up to. I know who I am and alcohol doesn’t help me achieve my goals or benefit me in anyway. So I choose to leave my drinking problem in LA.

About the Writer

taking off the mask is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
Want to write articles too? Sign up & become a writer!

8 comments on I Left my Drinking Problem in LA

Log In To Vote   Score: 3
By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on March 19, 2011 at 06:41 pm

you and vodka don't mix

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By Frank - icare2be on March 19, 2011 at 09:59 pm

TOTM, I wish my brothers and parents had your strength. It is a long path and it is very rewarding if the proper steps are adhered to.. I send you my heartfelt congratulations on your choices. May your destiny be fille with afirmations on your choices.

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By Frank - icare2be on March 19, 2011 at 10:05 pm

I admire you and your inner strength. I wish my brothers have your strength and resolve. I commend you on your moving forward. I am confident in what you have in your future..

Look here:

I send my prayers for continued strength..

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 2
By taking off the mask on March 21, 2011 at 02:08 am

@Ed Attanasio - well yes once i did get myself into trouble, i wrote about it a few times. One guy took me to a hotel and dispite my "no"s he took advantage of me, but I was so so lucky he didnt take full advantage. but over all yes I was really really lucky. every morning i thanked G-D for letting me make it through another night safely. But it was irresponsible to rely on G-D and luck to let me get through my nights without having to really suffer the consequences. now I take my safety into my own hands (and let G-D do the rest)

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By PATRICK PETION on March 22, 2011 at 11:42 pm

A bar attender friend of mine advise me, a bar is not a good place to looking for love or to find yourself. people love go to bar that true, but if you are going everyday and searching for people to buy you drink, that mean their is something very serious, if you are in NY, I know those nice scientologist in 46st on time square they can help you to figuire out what going on. I try to stay away from that conversation, but it keep on comming back. so I felt obligated to guide you, you do not have to accept my guidance, but trust me as Tom Cruis would tell you, they would help you.

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By taking off the mask on March 23, 2011 at 02:04 pm

@PATRICK PETION i wasn't looking for love of myself at bars. I was looking for fun and a social life. But no worries I got myself on the right path now :D

@ Frank - icare2be thank you for your kind words :D

 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 2
By Credo on April 26, 2011 at 09:42 am

After reading this article I took a sigh of relief when things actually prevailed for you. I was sadden for your tough experiences yet elated for your successful conclusion, I think you should reward yourself for your success and continually remind yourself that you are the master of your fate because you have proven thus. If I may say congratulations to you it would be for your tenacity in the face of an emotional and physiologic storm in which you have overcome, a struggle which you already know is a life time one.

Thank you for sharing a grand article, edifying for the public interest.


 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By taking off the mask on April 26, 2011 at 01:05 pm

@Credo - wow thank you for your kind words

 Report abuse

Add A Comment!

Click here to signup or login.

Rate This Article

Your vote matters to us