Monday, September 24, 2018

Why is She Crying?

by Ed Attanasio (writer), San Frickin' Frisco, Baby!, March 09, 2011

Credit: Abigail Almonsky
Why is she crying?

Interpreting a stranger's tears is an exercise in futility.

I was driving in this crazed city the other day and it was raining yet again.

“Oh, she’s crying,” I said

A woman was crossing the street, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her eyes were red and puffy and she wasn’t trying to hide the fact.

“Poor thing,” I thought. I hate to see people crying, especially kids and women.

“If she’s crying, it means she’s alive,” my passenger in the car said.

“What does that mean? I asked.

“Well, if you’re crying, it means you’re real.”

“But, I wonder why she’s crying?”

“Probably some guy dumped her.”

“Why do you assume that?”

“Cause guys suck.”

“How can you be so sure?” I inquired.

“Because I’ve been there and those tears are saying, some jerk just dumped me!”

“What if she lost her job or someone died?”

“That isn’t the type of crying she’s doing. That’s breakup crying.”

“How can you be so certain? You don’t have much faith in the male race do you?”

“We always know when another one from the clan got dumped. And she just got dumped.”

“Maybe she got eliminated from American Idol,” I said. “Or maybe she’s a Cleveland Cavaliers fan? Or she feels bad for Charlie Sheen? Or she was a big supporter of Qaddafi? Who knows?”

“Maybe she’s clairvoyant and she overheard this conversation before we had it. That would make her cry. And why do we waste our time with these dumb conversations anyway?”

“It sure beats talking about our own lives, doesn’t it?”

We laughed and agreed about something…finally.

(Oh, I forgot my passenger’s name in this article—it’s Steve.)

About the Writer

Ed Attanasio is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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3 comments on Why is She Crying?

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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on March 09, 2011 at 09:34 pm

another home-run champ!

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By -YumnaU. on March 10, 2011 at 06:26 am

Steve's awesome!

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By SZU on March 10, 2011 at 11:44 pm

I agree to Steve when he says guys suck. I wish I could go up to that woman and hug her..!

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