My phone rang as I stood in line waiting to get a cup of coffee with my mom, it was my ex, Williams calling. I decided not to pick up, to do so would violate the court order put into place in February 16th, 2011 that was now seperating us like the great wall of China. The wall dividing our hearts and our lives was there for a reason, and out of disgust I really did not want to speak to Williams, much less hear the sound of more lies and deception. Although curious as to why my ex was calling, I was not willing to go to jail for 7 years over a phone call and childish games. I had endured enough loss at the hands of Williams over the past year and I was over all the abusive drama Williams had created to ease the guilt of a cheating heart. Even while we had been at church the day before Valentines, a week ago, Williams disappeared to the bathroom for an extended period of time to let the dirty mistress know they would be connecting later that afternoon. The entire situation was surreal and disappointing to say the least, but I was accepting that the season of my life and relationship was changing. It was all for the best, no matter how painful the process of going through it seemed at the time.
Instead of returning Williams phone call, I called my attorney and let him know that Williams had just called me. My attorney then called the Distict Attorneys (DA's) office to notify them that Williams had called me and violated the court order. I also emailed the courthouse about the incident and called the courthouse to speak with one of their attorneys who advised me that I had handled the matter properly.
Later that afternoon at around 3:30 pm, in retaliation to my attorneys phone call to the DA, a Detective Cipolli from the NYPD tenth prescint called me to twist the story around;
"Apparently Williams claims you sent two text messages to them after the court order was in place."
Basically, this would mean *I* was in violation of the court order. Instead of the other way around.
"No, not possible, I told the Detective, "I have had no contact with Williams."
What I meant by that statement is if Williams were on fire, flesh burning, peeling off and needed a glass of water to ease the pain of the burn; Williams better call one of the dirty mistresses because unless the judge gave me clearance, Williams would not be getting any water from me.
"Well the text messages could be delayed," the officer tried to explain as he fished for information.
"Sir, the last text messages Williams received from me were on February 15, 2011, a day BEFORE the court order was in place. I seriously doubt those text messages delayed for seven days. We have had no contact. My attorney has screen shots of Wiliiams phone call to me, the last text messages sent on 2/15 and copies of my phone records."
Then the Detective says to me, "Williams and I are not trying to be malicious (Yeah right, the red flag went up. My mind immediately recalled what my good friend who left the police force use to say to me, 'cops and criminals are one in the same.') We just want to get to the truth of these two text messages."
I replied, "SubponeaWilliams phone records or mine for that matter and the truth will be obvious, Williams lied to you but she can perjur herself in court. It's a felony."
The Detective asked, "Well is it true that Williams called you this morning?"
Right then and there the Detective verified that he was calling me in retaliation as a result of my attorneys call to the DA. The DA's office was freaking out because they knew Williams blew a hole in their case when she called me and violated the court order.
"Yes, Williams did call me ths morning but I did not answer," I replied.
The Detective asked another question, "Do you have proof of this phone call?"
"Yes," I replied.
"Well if the Williams called you, it would be violating the Order of Protection, which goes against everything."
"Yes sir," I replied with a smile.
My mom nudged me to lip synch the words, "Let your attorney do the talking." I nodded in response.
Then the detective asked me, "Is there anything I should know about Williams?"
I was silent but the hampster wheel in my mind started rolling. How do you tell a police officer you are genuinely worried about the mental health of your ex, that in the last year, there was such a strong distinction in personality changes that maybe the voices Williams heard as a child were back in a much bigger way? I could not say to him, "I think Williams is mentally ill, suffering from psychitzophrenia or may even be a sociopath." The current Williams sitting in front of you today is night vs. day different from the person I originally fell in love with. So much so I often found myself ,over these last few weeks looking into Williams ice blue eyes and asking myself, "Who are you? I don't recognize the person you have become or understand your recent behavior. Where did my best friend go?" (See Part 2: Miscarriage of Justice)
Last year, after Williams attempted suicide twice, I had reached out to Williams mother for help concerning the seriousness of Williams mental problems. It was too much for me to handle alone. The difficult part is Williams mother Lori is a hypocondriac herself and could not see past her own health concerns to take me seriously. Lori's health issues take precedence over anyone elses, it has become painfully clear over the last five years that this is how Williams mother garners sympathy and attention from their entire family. Dare not let even her daughter take away her health sympathy spotlight, much less her love for pain medication. If her mother Lori could turn Williams, into her personal CNA and maid to cater to her every whim, she would do it in a heartbeat. Williams father is as always, left in the dark about the truth of his daughters mental state. I don't think he even realizes what is really going on. He already has a hard time dealing with Williams mother Lori always being ill, it is always one thing after the other. Lori will be doing well for a week with her rheumatoid arthritis and then suddenly injure herself. In order to deal with the loss of his once active wife, Williams dad consumes his time over-working, fishing, hunting or drinking at the bar. He is a good man but I feel sorry for him sometimes, because the health nut he married originally became more like a lazy cat in the window seal who always wants to be catered to like a princess. Even on Lori's good days, she rather lounge around on the sofa instead of living an active, healthy life. Williams dad manages the best way he can but neither of them realize that their child needs more help than even her current psychologist can give.
Part of the reason we decided to seperate amicably is because we both agreed that Williams needed the time to get her head together mentally and live it up as a single woman. Ever since we broke up, I have been supportive of Williams being on her own. I think it will be good for her to know she can make it as an independent woman. Even more importantly, I need a break from the responsibility that goes with caring for and managing trying to build a life with someone who is showing signs of being mentally unstable. It is a different kind of pressure to be constantly worried about whether the person you love is going to fall into the deep end of the ocean and you won't be there to stop them from hurting themselves. In your heart you feel a certain responsibility and loyalty to them, but there comes a point when you realize it's in Gods' hands.
I also could not tell the officer it did not comfort me to know that while I was about to be hung by the rope based on allegations instead of facts, Williams rapist still roamed free. In my heart, I believed Williams, in her mentally skewed thought process somehow thought prosecuting would somehow vindicate her past role as a victim of rape. Regardless, her rapist would still roam free.
The jagged pill for me to swallow is during the time when the rapist (someone she knew) betrayed Williams trust in a major way, *I* had been the one who was there for Williams as a friend. Even when Williams best friend Ashley and her own mother, Lori sided with the man who violated her. *I* had been the one who helped her pick up the pieces of her heart and her life. When Williams passed out on 34th and 7th Avenue in rush hour traffic, when we discovered she had diabetes, *I* was the one who pulled her to safety so she would not be trampled on. *I* was the one who rode in the ambulance and stayed by her side at the hospital *I* was the one who supported her in her life changes to integrate a new diet and lifestyle for her diabetes. The people Williams betrayed me for, not one of them where anywhere to be found during any of these difficult times. *I* was the one who encouraged Williams to get a psychiatrist which she did, *I* was the one who had stopped Williams from slitting her wrists this past year, and *I* was the one who removed the batteries from the Omnipod receiver when Williams tried to overdose herself on insulin. *I* was the one who less than a month ago was there for Williams when she fell down a flight of stairs and needed help to get back up because she was injured. *I* was the one who took care of her when she was sick, even after she had betrayed my trust, even while knowing we were falling apart. *I* knew our time together was limited but I still tried my best to be a good friend to her. *I* was the one who got her employment at Redcats, not only did *I* hire her but two of her bosses. She makes the salary she makes because *I* had negotiated it. *I* was the one, (not the dirty mistresses, not the invisible friends who flattered her with words but were never around) who paid for her dreams so she could record her music / recording sessions and her music video. *I* was the one who believed in and supported her in words and in deed. For what? To watch her cheat, reap the rewards of my hard work and witness Williams personality switch to someone I no longer knew or recognized. It was time to let it all fall apart.
And yet I could still feel the sting in the echo of my mothers words to me over the past few months, "Some people just use you." She saw it before I even realized what was happening. Love was there, once upon a time. Love in my opinion is a verb. In my mind, I see it as a fireman who rushes into a burning building when all hope seems lost...love rushes in...even when you want to surrender to your fear and run in the opposite direction of the flames...love is loyal to their beloved almost to a fault...love may burn at times but it believes in all things, hopes in all things...love overcomes all things...or so I thought. Maybe it made me foolish to stay with Williams, but the first four years between us were good, so much so that we wanted to get married. I thought that even in marriage, things are not always easy, you don't just run out when things get hard, you tough it out, work through the difficulties. This was hard, watching Williams unravel mentally was painful, but you don't just abandon someone when they need you or lose themselves in a mental haze. Williams was my best friend so I gave 110% to work it out, to make things better but it was not enough, and watching everything invested, all the hopes and dreams burn to dust over lies, was more than heartbreaking.
I never heard from the Detective. The tactics the Detective was using to reverse the truth of the situation are referred to as 'entrapment.' The District Attorney in my opinion is using him as a pawn since they are upset that their client, Williams may have blown their case by violating the court order. The police have full capability to print out both mine and Williams phone records. Maybe when the police are not hanging out at the local donut shop, they will have the proper time to tap phones, eavesdrop and pull our phone records like the 'big brother' surveillance experts they are. Maybe not. Who needs evidence to actually arrest people when America is apparently becoming like every other third world country. What concerns me is the law has changed so much, who knew that law enforcement can run around arresting people strictly on allegations without any concrete evidence.It seems like the US Constitution got turned into a meltable 'stir stick' to be used in the NYPD's daily coffee mug. Every day, a little more of the Constitution and Bill of Rights melts away into the new police state and slowly gets swallowed up by more and more corruption.
On Friday my attorney spoke with Detective Cipolli, and I have been advised that in regards to these text messages, sent BEFORE a court order was ever put into place, that I need to willingly bring myself downtown on Tuesday to be arrested on false charges = equal a false arrest.
The current justice system needs a overhaul. Arrests made on allegations without evidence are unlawful & unjust.