Saturday, September 22, 2018

Dear Diary, Why Can't Men Be Men?

Credit: Creative Crop
More to tell and miles to go before we sleep...

Do I really have to sit down and discuss in detail what my expectations are in a relationship? I think the answer is 'yes!'

Dear Diary,

I think I know a lot more about what I want from a man than I have been willing to share. I guess it may have to do with the fact that having to ask a man to be a gentleman and a champion of my honor seems a bit sad. I grew up thinking that men were physically stronger and that part of their role in a long-term relationship (marriage) was to love and honor a woman.

I would love to be loved by:

  • Surprising me with a homemade card that has a line or two about something lovely about me
  • Having a picnic on the living room floor
  • Being read to slowly and with care so that I could drink in every word on the page falling from his lips

I would like to be honored by:

  • Being protected from the big bad wolves of the world who are rude and disrespectful and need someone to put them in their place
  • Remembering a precious moment we shared together and sharing it once again in conversation
  • Not having to decide where we will be going on our next outing as a couple

I know that there are times that things come up, people get sick, the car breaks down and the roof is leaking and the wind his howling and you got bonked on the head at work. But Diary, why does all of the crap seem to be what is the biggest part of the relationship? Do you think it possible if I took a chance and I were completely honest with someone about how I wanted a man to stand up for me, take care of me (my feelings and such, not asking him to break out his wallet) and find ways to make sure that when we are together we are both enjoying our time together, that a man would be interested in a relationship like that? What do you think?


Dearest Gillean,

You're wearing your heart on your sleeve again, aren't you. I know it seems like such a long time from one relationship to finding someone to share time and space with. And I have to admit that I am proud of you for not caving in to just 'going out.' I know you get too bored too easily and you don't have the heart to waste a man's money on a meal when you just have no interest in him.

But girlfriend of mine, you are leaving yourself to live in a silo. You eat, sleep and drink work and your children. How can you truly meet a man if you aren't willing to put yourself out there? I know this is so tough for you. You don't live in a big city with so many options as you would have in Washington, D.C. I know you would love visiting those museums. I know you secretly would like to run away to the seashore to collect seashells and listen to God's voice in the wind as it whips your hair all around your face.

But wait. Your life is far from over, my dear. Your heart will have reason soon enough to skip a beat or two. What you do, you do well. So keep moving on and write more often and step outside more often and take a walk around your own block. You don't need a man to enjoy a lovely walk around your neighborhood. The children are growing. But you are wilting away. And there's no time for that young lady.

Oh, Gillean, that article about you considering wearing blush or not, take an afternoon and pick out your favorite outfit whether it's for a night out or your Sunday best. Then put on the 'war paint' as you so aptly call it and get in your car and drive. Where? Maybe that huge library on Main St. Maybe you could go to downtown Greensboro to the lovely park with the water fountain. Just go and be present in life outside of your old, stale walls. You want a man? Then be willing to show that you are indeed a beautiful woman for all to see who are fortunate enough.

And finally, please do smile more.

Write to me again when you need me. I'm only a page away.

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BusinessLife is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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4 comments on Dear Diary, Why Can't Men Be Men?

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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on March 04, 2011 at 12:15 am

the dear diary stuff is a

haha, why cant men be men? hell, i dont know...

keep punchin'

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By Angie Alaniz on March 04, 2011 at 01:32 am

Wait, I'm confused.The diary writes back?...and with compassion and words of wisdom and with love?

Ohh La La ...Where do I get one of those?

I'm not only writing in one of those diarys but I'm sleeping with him, ....underneath. :)

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By Angie Alaniz on March 04, 2011 at 10:06 am


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By BusinessLife on March 04, 2011 at 02:25 pm

The thought is that we can be incredibly hard on ourselves. What if we penned our concerns down and then looked back and re-read them with a compassionate heart as if the words were from a dear friend. Just what would a diary, the keeper of all secrets be able to offer when you write allowing the diary's compassion to bloom?

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