At some point we have all thought about it or done it. That urge to check the call log or text messages on our significant others cell phone. Read their emails. Call and chat with the friend they are supposedly with and many more creative ideas I've found - perhaps deceptive is the best word for it. Some of us have even gone too far and ended up powerless with our new information.
Las Vegas, a city of misguided teachings in regards to love and sex, amongst other things. Where beauty is a dime a dozen, where a stripper can be a full time executive during the day and you would never know it, where uncommital sex happens even with paying for it. Where the songs lyrics "I used to be love drunk, buy now I'm hung over" are a way of life. Where a massage parlor at 2am, 4am is open for those who work in a 24hr town and can't get in during normal hours, HA! Where your neighborhood may be filled with doctors and lawyers and high ranking, high income and hence supposedly high standard families. The high paid stripper, valet attendant, high limit blackjack dealer, and of course porn producers also live there. Now this is true of any city, money is present in both the hard working, intellectual and successful households but also the creatively wealthly households as well. Money has no prejudices. If you want it its there just depends what your willing to do for it. But in Las Vegas the frequency in which this happens is mulitpled. Now add to that tourism and those coming to Vegas to fulfill their wishes and this is increased 100fold. More often then not the person you meet in Las Vegas has mulitple agendas, stories and experiences to work with to get what ever they intend to get/have. Now introduce this to dating in Las Vegas and you see the need for snooping. You have to inspect what you expect. But what can you do with the results of your inspection that doesn't come at the cost of you appearing to be insane?
In Las Vegas, you listen to your intuition concerning dating, for me it has always proven accurate. Everytime I have inspected what I expect I have been accurate. This counts for the good and the bad. But honestly, I inspect the bad intuitons most often.
So now, you've done it. You've infiltrated their email account, photos, phone, facebook, internet history, followed their car, camped out in your friends car on the sidewalk of their house, rumaged through their belongings. You've left items of yours to be found by any possible male/female that enters their house, room, car, etc. You've shown up unannounced where ever they may be. You've done everything your conscience will allow you to do and found? Nothing you can use! You can't confront them about anything you've found. WHY? Because its you that looks like the pyschopath! And he/she will thank you for showing them that side of you so he/she can run. Why? Because you are crazy and you will always be known to everyone in their future as the crazy insecure one they escaped from.
So you're left with a heightened sense of suspicion to use in helping you find something you can admit to knowing. The heartache you cannot show yet don't have the ability to hide. Or you can be the girl/guy who just broke things off with no explanation. But then you yourself don't get the closure you need from calling him/her all the dirty and mean little things that feel so good to yell. The options you are left with after snooping are never nice.
So why continue to snoop? Why? For me? Two reasons. First, I've learned I have a "type." I fall for womanizers and players. Its official. Its a proven track record. Three major reationships in my life; high school sweatheart, father of my first child wanted to me name our daughter after his other grlfriend. Husband of 14 years, was having an affair with my brothers wife. First relationship after my divorce, was using me for a green card and had 6 other girlfriends. Countless guys I've dated since have proven the same in a short period of time. If I'm not attracted to you, you are a good guy. I have no idea how to change this, but until I fall for some other type I better make sure I'm smart enough to recognize when he's not the one. I just can't let them know it or again, I'm the insane one. Once I find a good guy, I don't want to lose him becuase he thinks I'm crazy!
Second, until then, it gives one confirmation that my instincts are accurate. Call it instinctual practice. This practice helps in recoginizing when your instincts are off, because sometimes they are and when that happens you will have a higher sense of security with that person.
So as they say, practice makes perfect. But, be strong enough emotionally to handle what you find or don't play.