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In Search of A Man

by BusinessLife (writer), The Carolinas, February 21, 2011

Credit: Kutay Tanir
In search of a man

Okay, here's my rant on searching for a person of the opposite sex of whom I can enjoy spending time with, flirting with and ending the day wishing there were still more hours to spend together.

Let's be perfectly clear. I do believe there are indeed men, or what I would consider a man who comes equipped with a backbone, can plan activities and does more than ask, 'so what do you want to do this weekend?' I really have every confidence that God hooked us up with some men who have some of the basic functions in working order. I am not here to 'beat up' on the opposite sex. However, I would like your help, both men and women deciding where it is a single woman is to go to find a man of some actual substance that can transition from a terrific friendship to a great flirtatious fun adventure. Let's go ahead and put sex on the side. For the sake of my rant, I would like to eliminate the possibility of finding a man who is interesting enough that I want to discover how exciting life is under his sheets or mine.

Now, that sex is out of the way. It's back to my original question. Where does one find a man? And to start this off, I suppose I must provide some specifics or characteristics that interest me so that should you happen to know of such a man you can immediately provide the geographical coordinates and allow me to study said, 'man' to see this unique individual in action.

I'll be working off my own 12 Step Program on Building A Man of Substance (I know men like this exist. I just want to provide the background so you will know a man when you see one):

Step One:

I want to meet a man who is intelligent and can carry on an intellectually stimulating conversation. This person will not dangle participles and he will understand that opening the car door and a door into a building is indeed what a 'man' is supposed to do and not what a man 'has' to do.

Step Two:

I would like to meet a man who is interesting in the way of being witty, sarcastic but not to the point of degrading anyone based on ethnicity, culture, education, sex, intelligence, etc. A man should be able to appreciate his own shortcomings and be able to laugh at these items.

Step Three:

I would be grateful if a man had all of his original teeth. I suppose this may present a problem if the man is or were a professional hockey player. I do not consider that a professional hockey player is not well-educated. I certainly do not want to rule out any possibility. I would like a man who enjoys staying fit. I am not concerned about a 6-pack set of abs or amazing arms and so on. I would just like to think that going to the gym would not require a crowbar and several other larger men using the crowbar to pry this man out of his recliner to go to a gym. And while this man is at the gym, I would like him to realize that he would actually have to break a sweat working out and not just from staring in a mirror to see how he looks or how some hot babe looks at another machine near him.

Step Four:

I would like to think that dating or asking me out on a date does not constitute any physical expectations following the said, 'date.' In fact, I am most happy to enjoy a date that would consist of a picnic at a park, a walk along the coast and then a stop for water and maybe an ice cream cone or maybe a walk through a museum to share something this man likes and appreciates so that I can see and learn something from someone else's perspective.

Step Five:

Okay, this is probably a deal breaker for me. A man should really know how to kiss. There's no sloppy, slobbery kissing that interests me. There should be a thoughtful and smart time that is right to gently eliminate the distance from each other so that soft, warm lips touch one another and tease for what the possibilities may hold.

Step Six:

Since I have stated that my focus is not on having a man spend a great fortune taking me out, I would like a man to be able to spend a great fortune of his brain cells being able to carry on a conversation but not one that is solely based on his likes or dislikes. I would like to think that the goal of a date or meeting someone is to get to know each other. If not, I suppose a man could simply submit a resume. But then what's the point?

Step Seven:

I have found that a man puts a great deal of pressure on the appearance of a woman. Now, to be fair, although I am not expecting to meet the hottest new celebrity fellow, I would like to think the man has all working part and a brain that is used regularly and a man that is focused on much more than the icing on the cake. I'm not a model. But I have been told that I am attractive, sexy and so on. So, if we could hold off on the muscle shirts, chewing tobacco, smoking (just my personal 'ick') and expectations that my cleavage will be busting out at the seams, we may just have the beginnings of a first conversation.

Step Eight:

I would like a man to be the leader in the relationship. Yes, I am actually being serious. Here's a thought. Get to know me enough to provide me with two or three different things that we could do when we get together. Make sure that all items you select are items that you enjoy as well. See? It's not all about me, afterall. Then, the man appears like he is in charge and I don't have to come up with 'what do you want to do?' Ugh.

Step Nine:

Let's hope that the possibility arises when the man actually enjoys my company. Please tell me where to find a man who can communicate such an important point. I adore romance. Yet, once again, I do not require a bouquet of flowers or chocolates or theatre tickets. How about a sweet message written on a paper left under my windshield wiper. Make sure it won't be raining later on that day. Or how about a nice text message with something like..."just thinking about how beautiful your smile is and looking forward to seeing it and you in person later this week." Man of mystery, of whom I cannot seem to find, please consider communicating on an ongoing basis and realize you don't have to spend money to be kind, caring and romantic. They have really great books to purchase. And some of them have great ideas that you can read in one to two sentences!!

Step Ten:

Okay, it's down to the nitty gritty. I would like a man who is adventurous. Let's take a canoe ride. Plan everything and simply kidnap me and we're off to a great day's adventure!! And did you know that if we are dating and we both like each other you can grab me in your arms and kiss me without any warning? Did you know that's like getting an A+++? The spice in a relationship is also not a costly item when it comes to your wallet.

Step Eleven:

Okay, I guess I'm ready to find out where I am to look for said male species of good integrity, moral values and adventurous hankerings.

Step Twelve:

Where are men of whom I am seeking? I am continuing to keep my idealistic hopes alive. I have friends who would like to meet your friends of the same calibre, excitement of life and interest in adventure too! So, are there specific states, cities, cultures, careers that offer these best kept secret men alive and well and interested in a female counterpart?

Just asking. I figure the only thing I can do is trust that someone out in this big, wide world may know of the whereabouts of a man.



About the Writer

BusinessLife is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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6 comments on In Search of A Man

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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on February 21, 2011 at 09:07 pm

christ almighty you have too many steps...i still have all my teeth thank goodness for the mouth piece...lol

haha, i dont know where to tell ya to look for men cause i dont look for them...

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By BusinessLife on February 21, 2011 at 09:32 pm

I am certainly depending on Christ, Himself to help me find my match. It's quite an undertaking. Just like going through puberty, your first date, getting married, raising children, there just isn't a "GUIDE To Find the Right Man for You."

And although you are not personally in search of men, I would like to think that you have friends who are men who may actually qualify under my target market. :)

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By Angie Alaniz on February 21, 2011 at 09:35 pm

Sheesh, I agree, way to many steps.

Step # 3 is way to funny. > And while this man is at the gym, I would like him to realize that he would actually have to break a sweat working out and not just from staring in a mirror to see how he looks? lol (men just do that anyway) or how some hot babe looks at another machine near him. < In my book, If he's not looking at the hot babe on the machine next to him, I'd say he's gay.

In my book, I only require a masculine man with a good and sincere heart and a pair of nice eyes sure helps.

Good luck :)

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By BusinessLife on February 21, 2011 at 09:44 pm

In writing such an article, the goal was not to focus on how many steps I provided. I wanted to allow various readers to find a step or two that they might possibly relate to or disagree with and offer their own ideas and thoughts...and possible man? :)

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By BusinessLife on February 22, 2011 at 01:02 pm

TAZZ, Bill and Gary, Me likie your thinking! A weekly column on Life As It Really Is...Is There Hope for a First Base In My Future? I think I'll try this out and enjoy having fun with my own shortcomings and issues. Hey, Friday, you spelled dessert as desert...is that a fat joke? :(

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By BusinessLife on February 23, 2011 at 06:38 pm

For those with a curious nature, I just received some very exciting or more likely very scary news.

17947 Single Men have checked me out online. I had an account with an online dating service but since gave up this form of connection about a year ago. (sigh.)

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