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Saturday, October 21, 2017

Your Own Personal Cyrano

Credit: Punto in Movimento
Cyrano

With the advent of online dating, now comes the online dating coach.

In the world of online dating, some will tell you that presentation is everything. That is most likely true to a point and with that the job of online dating coach has now come to fruition. For all those who are just not sure how and what to do in an online dating experience, the coach is there to help you have success or so they claim.

For a fee, you can hire an online dating coach to help you make the most of your online dating experience. They help write and refine your profile, some will even write it for you completely. They will help pick out your profile picture. They guide you in the answering of messages. They offer suggestions and advice on who you should and should not pick for dates. They will give tips on what to do and what not to do on a first date with your matches. Your own personal Cyrano hiding out behind the computer screen. But is this really helpful?

I'm sure for some it is most helpful to have a guide along the way. For the new online dater, for the less confident, for the less articulate. Having someone prompting you with what to say, write, and do can be a big help to some. But you have to wonder if these coaches aren't making their clients out to be more than they are. They can't expect repeat business if all their coaching jobs are failures now can they. And how well can someone you just met know you? Know what you are looking for in a date or a life partner? How can they make a decision on who you should date and who you shouldn't? A little guidance is one thing, but decision making is quite another.

All I see when I picture an online dating coach doing their job is Cyrano in the bushes telling someone what to say and how to act. Pay no attention to the man behind the computer screen rings in my head. It's really me talking, not them, really. A little guidance can be a good thing, but if it's not really you that's in the dating experience then the person you want to date will figure that out eventually. Hiding the truth of oneself eventually becomes something you can no longer do and they find out that it was Cyrano all along. As in everything in life, use what you can and make it yours while continuing to be just yourself.



About the Writer

Deborah Horton is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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