Thursday, September 20, 2018

Are You Talking To Me?

Credit: ezy159

In the age of texts, social networks, and smartphones, people seem to be talking to each other less and less.

The advent of text messaging, social networks, and smartphones seem to have had an impact on how much people actually talk to each other face to face. Many people have gone strictly to other forms of communication limiting their actual one on one, in the flesh contact with people to a minimum.

At a coffee shop, I observed people sitting at tables together. There was very little actual conversation by those who had some kind of device such as a phone, laptop, IPad. Their concentration was focused on the device. They were just tapping away while sitting across the table from one another. They barely looked at each other. Talking to each other out loud was just something that wasn't done. I wondered how many of them were actually texting each other as they sat across from one another.

More and more I find that people are spending time actually talking less and less. They spend their time texting, posting to Facebook, contacting people via email. Conversations are short and superficial. There's no way to really know how someone is doing. How they are truly feeling. I've also had people tell me that once they've started communicating via the Internet or various devices and they go back to talking to someone in person, they find the person has changed quite a bit and they have little in common anymore. I've also had people tell me that they don't really have close friends anymore. Just superficial relationships where they send mostly meaningless texts back and forth.

I find that I am as guilty as some others. I find it much easier to just send someone a text if it's something short that I need to ask or say rather than calling them on the phone or making a date to see them. But I do make time for people to see them face to face. Lunch, coffees, game dates, etc. just to keep the personal in the personal relationship.

Do you find that you talk to people face to face more or less? If you do, would you characterize most of your relationships as superficial? What are your thoughts on the practice of talking but not talking?

About the Writer

Deborah Horton is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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7 comments on Are You Talking To Me?

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By taking off the mask on January 05, 2011 at 04:33 pm

First off you stole my article :P I was planning to write on this issue. But hey you did a good job of it. So as for the internet I speak to people I know online but would never have a phone conversation with more than half of them. It's just so easy and relaxed. Best of all you can chat with a bunch of people at the same time, unlike the phone or in person when you really need to focus on that one person and that one conversation. I find I have more online friends than face to face friends. It also helps distant wise because I moved away from where my friends live so the internet is the best way to keep in touch without having a high phone bill or wasting to much time. So although it is very very sad I think the internet is the future and face to face will become less and less. Except for the REAL relationships and friendships, those will continue to be face to face

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By Deborah Horton on January 06, 2011 at 07:48 am

Taking Off The Mask - Sorry I stole it :) I find I have a lot of online friends I talk to every day, but these are family that live far away or friends from long ago that also live far away. If someone is right here in my town though I will make an effort to see them rather than text or email them.

Tazz - I have many many devices, but the trick is you have to learn to put them down. They can't be attached to you like another appendage. It took me a while to do that with my phone, but I do now. They can become too much a part of ones life for sure.

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By SZU on January 06, 2011 at 09:52 am

This is something I always felt like writing about.

Because I am a writer I feel sms-es, mails and facebook (etc) has made life easier for me becasue I feel more comfortable in communicating via words on paper/screen than verbal conversation face-to-face.

Having said that, I do find it sad. My will of meeting people in real has decreased over the period of time..

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By Deborah Horton on January 06, 2011 at 10:50 am

Szu - I found that happening to me as well. Mostly because it was just so easy - just get the cell phone, send a text, little to no effort. I have tried of late though to make more face to face contacts and to put my phone down. It's become much like trying to stop caffeine - that didn't work out so well for me lol

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By Lady D on January 08, 2011 at 12:16 pm

I will talk to anybody anytime. I guess it is my New York part.

However it seems people don't really talk, unless it is is about the lattest reality show.

People don't seem to want to think and have real conversation. You know when the subject is too deep when you get the blank stare.

I feel like I am talking to" pod people" let me put it in todays speak, "Snookified".

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By SmilingBudha on January 09, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Deborah, A very well written article . I agree that most people resort to the easy way of texting rather than picking up the phone and talking. While the new gadgets keep us in constant touch with our friends and dear ones, its taking away our desire to meet and have one on one interactions.

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By Deborah Horton on January 11, 2011 at 07:02 am

Ed - I find for short communications texts work very well. But for those I wish to have as actual relationships for a long time I make time for face to face interaction :)

Lady D - I have to agree. I've become far less patient with those who appear bored or "less intelligent" as it were. I'm not one to converse for very long with pod people either lol

Smiling Budha - Thank you for reading. And you are so correct. Most humans will choose the easy over the effort :)

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