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Saturday, November 18, 2017

NCAA Declares Cam Newton’s Father Bowl ineligible

by SanityCheck2 (writer), Piedmont Triad Area of North Carolina, December 03, 2010

Credit: The author
The NCAA logo hanging in the BCS headquarters no one gets to see

NCAA far reaching investigation rules that Bishop Cecil Newton violated NCAA rules but violated no commandments and no state or federal laws.

The NCAA celebrating its 125th year of indentured servitude today announced that a comprehensive and far-reaching investigation has determined that Cam Newton, along with every other college athlete received no money for playing college football. Evidently Cam was unaware his father tried to pimp him out to Mississippi State.

More perplexing, Turns out Cam’s father Cecil is a minister, a Bishop no less of the Holy Zion Center of Deliverance, former site of the Newnan Jiffy Lube. And while it is certainly true that the Lord works in mysterious ways, churches operate on cash and 10% of an amateur athlete’s salary is squat.

Mike Slive SEC commissioner was quoted thusly, “there is no place in intercollegiate athletics for this sort of thing”. Mike was equally clear that while participants do not deserve to be paid, it would be foolish to stop charging admission to the games or give away the Television broadcast rights. Mike also doesn’t work for nothing which begs the question “Why is Mike being paid and Cam isn’t?” And while Mike is adamant that NCAA “Rules” were broken he carefully avoided mention of the minimum wage law.

The NCAA and BCS seem satisfied this episode is now over but there are entirely too many lawyers involved for this thing to go un-litigated. Amateur athletes might work for nothing but attorneys gotta eat.



About the Writer

SanityCheck2 is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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