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Sunday, November 18, 2018

Catholic Church files Bankruptcy on Molestation Cases

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If this was a Hollywood script, it would go something like this:

EXT. THE PEARLY GATES, HEAVEN - DAY
There are a group Catholic priests milling about in front of a pair of very large pearly colored gates. One priest is talking into an intercom attached to the gates.

PRIEST #1
"Hello, GOD are you there?"

POV OF PRIEST#1 FACE
Priest #1 looks to the rest of the group.

PRIEST #1 (CONT'D)
(uneasy)
"There's no answer."

WIDE SHOT OF GROUP OF PRIESTS
The group looks around, up and down, for a sign of GOD. One priest responds:

Priest #2
"For Christ's sake, he's gotta be here, this is Heaven, try it again."

Before Priest #1 can try again, there is a booming, Wizard of Oz voice that fills the air. It is GOD.

GOD
(colossally magnificent voice)
"Aren't you the guys from San Diego,.. the ones on trial?...What Are you doing up here?...you needed to push the down button on the elevator. Ask for Lucifer, you can tell him I sent you...He's an old friend of mine."

CUT TO: C/U OF PRIEST #1
There is sweat beading on the Priest's forehead as he is waving some papers around.

PRIEST #1
"No, no, we are in the right place...Ahh, you probably didn't get the paperwork yet, I have a copy of the order right here."

E/C/U OF PRIEST #1’S HAND HOLDING BANKRUPTCY PAPERS

PRIEST #1(CONT'D)
"We filed bankruptcy, the whole problem is solved. There won't be any money paid out and we won't have to reveal ANY past details."

FADE OUT. AS PEARLY GATES BEGIN TO OPEN

GOD
(hesitantly)
"I'm not so sure about this".....

According to an Associated Press article today, "the Roman Catholic Diocese of San Diego, California was going to file for bankruptcy protection to avoid going to trial on the more than 140 civil lawsuits alleging sexual abuse by priests."

It seems that each "Diocese" is like a franchise, it's responsible for its actions but shields the "Mother Ship." So, San Diego can go broke while the Catholic Church worldwide suffers nothing more than it's continued embarrassment.

A letter posted on the diocese's Web site by Bishop Robert Brom stated that "the diocese decided against litigating our cases because of the length of time the process would take and, more importantly, because early trail judgements in favor of some victims could so deplete diocesan and insurance resources that there would be nothing left for other victims."

I had to read that "flim-Flam" three times to make sure I got it correct! In other words, they are afraid the first suits going to trial will result in such huge awards to the defendants that in order to be fair they would pay no one. That makes sense right? How about some of the other "franchises" kick in and every judgement assessed is paid. That seems a lot more fair, and certainly the right thing to do.

San Diego joins four other Catholic Diocese's that have used bankruptcy as tool to end pending lawsuits. They are Tucson, Arizona, Portland, Oregon, Spokane, Washington and Davenport, Iowa.

Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's blunders?
Friedrich Nietzsche



About the Writer

Steven Lane is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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3 comments on Catholic Church files Bankruptcy on Molestation Cases

Log In To Vote   Score: -1
By V on February 28, 2007 at 11:52 pm
I love this article Steve. Everything about it. Well done! I recall you mentioning a similar religious upbringing to mine ...God I tell you, there's nothing like Catholicism to beat any faith out of you. So speaking of franchises, do we know if the Pope blessed the KFC Fish Burger in time for it's US release for Lent?
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By Steven Lane on March 01, 2007 at 12:27 am
I was an alter boy at Saint Mel's in Woodland hills. I had a great Irish pastor, the only thing he abused was a good bottle of Irish Whiskey, lol. By the time I was in Catholic High School they had converted me into an Atheist, I have mellowed to agnogstic, but their "one true God" business turned me to the "dark side". Today, I find their "two-faced" attitude nothing less than disgusting, Maybe I should have put this under "opinion".
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By Matt Weston on March 01, 2007 at 02:19 pm
Sheesh, the Bishop's statement is so slimy. How does the S.D. church choose which victims are more "deserving"? No-brainer: all cases should be prosecuted regardless of the potential for payout. Thanks for sharing, Steve.
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