Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Could Suzy Kolber kick Stuart Scott’s Ass in a fair fight

Thsi is what happens when you start a broadcast four hours before the game.

Monday Night Football Coverage now starts about two days before the game and the four hour lead-in does little more than aggravate the average viewer. This is due in no small part to the participation of Suzy Kolber and Stuart Scott. Tiring of the in-depth and hard hitting analysis provided by these two, the viewer, will no doubt arrive at a point where boredom kicks in and idle minds turn to speculation about such things as “Could Suzy Kolber kick Stuart Scott’s Ass in a fair fight”?

This Fight would is no doubt be one of those affairs where most are hoping for a protracted and hotly contested draw with both participants taking a number of devastating blows on the way to a non-decision. Both these announcers are a bit long in the tooth with their best days behind them. And while it goes without saying that neither possesses much in the area of pugilistic skills, hopefully what they lack in talent will be offset by enthusiasm.

While Stuart “would not hit a girl”, evidently the young ladies at Stuart's high school had no qualms about bitch slapping Stuart. It seems that Stuart may have received a number of thrashings at the hands of some rather tough young ladies during his high school days where he was rumored to have frequently subsidized the free lunch program although his contributions were probably involuntary.

These incidents have no doubt prepared him well to do battle with Suzy. Given his athletic prowess, Stuart’s best chance of victory is to allow Suzy to pummel him and hopefully, she will wear herself out hitting him. Pretending to be dead might slow Suzy down but deceit will only get you so far; eventually Stuart will have to hit back.

Suzy perhaps best known for her short-lived, on-air romance with Joe Willy Namath which ended when Joe sobered up, may have a size and reach advantage on Scott but must be careful of Scott's hand speed, characterized as deceptively slow. Neither fighter need worry about low blows. For my money, I’d take Suzy in three rounds, on a TKO.

I think everyone agrees the winner of this bout should take on Tony Saragossa.

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