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Conspiracy Theory: Television for wingnuts with Jesse Ventura

Credit: Created by the auuthor
Ex Mongol Motorcycle Gang member and the voice of America's OCD and Schizophrenics- Jesse Ventura (not his real name)

Finally, TRU TV has created a television show for the paranoid-schizophrenics, obsessive-compulsives, attention deficit and intellectually challenged… and Jesse Ventura is their new poster boy.

TRU TV’s latest entry in the realm of “Reality” TV is a show aptly named “Conspiracy Theory” hosted by that pillar of investigative journalism Jesse Ventura. By all accounts, TRU TV has the perfect show to go heads up with the History Channel’s “Monsterquest”, the Travel Channel’s “Ghost Adventures”, and Nickelodeon’s reruns of “Gilligan’s Island”. No doubt this is a proud moment in the annals of reality TV and industry analysts confidently predict that “Conspiracy Theory” will be a popular and successful vehicle for the sale of feminine hygiene products, erectile dysfunction medications and that annoying lizard with the limey accent hawking auto insurance.

Jesse Ventura the “D” Lister who refuses to go quietly into the night has remade himself yet again, this time as television host. The ex Navy Seal turned Mongol Outlaw Biker, turned pro wrestler, turned Governor of Minnesota has transitioned into yet another occupation requiring every bit of intelligence, common sense, good looks and hair that he possesses. This show just smells like an Emmy for Jesse.

The show’s premise is exactly as stated: dig up and offer credence to every half-baked lunatic fringe conspiracy theory ever concocted. Evidently there is a segment of the population who actually watch these programs, which means this show could go on for years followed by a number of sequels on “Who killed Conspiracy Theory?”

The episode on the 9/11/2001 World Trade Center terrorist attack is probably Jesses’ finest work, if one discounts the 1975 NWA Pacific Northwest Heavyweight Championship match against Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka. In this episode of Conspiracy Theory , Jesse passionately albeit unconvincingly argues that the attack on the World Trade center was not a terrorist operation, but rather, a “false flag” operation, a vast U.S. government conspiracy hatched at the highest levels.

For argument’s sake, let us ignore the hundreds of peer-reviewed scientific papers and huge body of uncontested forensic and scientific evidence that supports the official version of this horrific event and assume that the 9-11 attacks were not the work of terrorists working for some homicidal maniac hiding in a cave in Afghanistan but instead, the results of a carefully planned “False Flag” operation initiated at the highest levels of the U.S. Government. George Bush Jr., the then current President and possessing a reported substance abuse problem, may have been the dumbest person to ever hold the office. George Junior had as his second in command none other the fellow Texan and crack shot Dick Chaney. Remember when these guys enlisted the aid of one Scooter Libby to “out” a CIA agent? This bit of deceptive tomfoolery resulted in an embarrassing trial culminating in Scooter’s conviction; requiring an even more humiliating and very public presidential pardon just to keep Scooter out of the slammer. Not exactly the kind of skill and cunning one would ascribe to a group of first-rate conspirators.

For those who do not subscribe to a Conspiracy Theory website, Jesse and his crew provided some background information on “False Flag” operations which generally have one of two purposes: the first is to discredit someone or something; the second is to achieve an objective surreptitiously. No doubt an example is in order: let us assume you work in an office building and every day at lunch time, a mime parks his ass in front of your building making it difficult to enter/exit the building. From prior experience, you know that confronting a mime has little chance of success. Given that few would approve of any attempt to remove the mime, what is required is a means to eliminate the mime without anyone figuring out that you had anything to do with it. You could call a local Crime stoppers hotline anonymously and report the mime as a child molester or drug dealer which will temporarily alleviate the situation. Or, you could wait until a co-worker leaves his computer unattended and using the co-workers computer, send an email to the building supervisor complaining about the presence of the mime. This would get the mime removed and the supervisor would believe the email was sent by your co-worker… both these solutions are classic false flag operations.

Evidently, it matters little to Jesse that 9-11 served no purpose as a false flag operation to “discredit” the Taliban. In modern society, terrorists enjoy a reputation on par with child molesters, spouse abusers, crack addicts and serial killers. And, terrorist organizations routinely execute terrorist attacks, reveling in the ensuing publicity. Bush then, had only to wait for Bin Laden’s next attack, providing all the provocation needed to initiate a war on terrorism. Skeptics are reminded of the rather flimsy “Weapons of Mass destruction” hype Bush used as the basis to invade Iraq.

But Jesse is convinced that highly placed government officials rigged these buildings to explode, made sure the U.S. military did not respond, somehow kept the FAA from figuring out what was going on and then attempted to hide the evidence scattered amidst millions of pounds of debris.

In the aftermath of the attack on the World Trade Center, the site quickly became known as “Ground Zero”. The initial rescue effort turned into a recovery effort and eventually to a clean up. Literally tens of thousands of people had access to this site and tourists who traveled to New York could easily visit the site and observe the cleanup efforts. Jesse doesn’t elaborate on this but it seems a bit disingenuous for a group of conspirators to create the world’s largest crime scene, provide access to thousands, put the site on public view and then ship the “evidence” by dump truck to public landfills. These things are best left up to the experts like Jesse, but this sure seems like a poorly run conspiracy. Further, what remained after the World Trade Centers collapsed was perhaps the most heavily tested and carefully searched pile of debris in history. The violent nature of the collapse simply obliterated the remains of many of the victims. Identifying as many victims as possible required that debris at the site be meticulously sifted for human remains. Often, as Jesse astutely observes, victims were identified by the smallest of fragments. Again, with so much damning evidence there for the taking, this does not seem to be the kind of scrutiny a well run conspiracy would openly invite.

So… thanks to Jesse the 9/11 terrorist attack is now exposed for what it was; a group of high-ranking government officials willing to risk their careers on a dicey conspiracy to drum up support for a war on terrorism that most people would have supported anyway. After orchestrating this elaborate conspiracy, secretly rigging all the buildings to explode and flying airplanes into these buildings, the conspirators left the entire area open to public view, provided access to thousands of rescue workers, who scoured the area in one of the most intense forensic investigations in history and then the debris from the site was carted off to landfills where evidently, everyone but Jesse could find it.

Although not a single 9/11 Conspiracy “expert” has ever had his/her findings published in a peer-reviewed journal and even though much of the facts Jesse presented are simply wrong, this show is no doubt a winner and Jesse’s star is once again on the rise.



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2 comments on Conspiracy Theory: Television for wingnuts with Jesse Ventura

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By Theresa H Hall on October 30, 2010 at 12:23 am

Jesse could be in to something I have heard many a person voice, over the past few years. Some of it makes bells ring. I don't buy the story we were told and I have no reason not to swallow it. Just like a lot of other things we have been told is the truth. He might not have it totally right, but some of it could very well be the real truth. Time will tell. I say, look at the single bullet theory in the JFK tragedy. Just saying theories are just that.

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Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By Theresa H Hall on October 30, 2010 at 12:24 am

edit: on to something

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