As the darkness closes around I know that I am once again alone. Alone but not frightened, how can I be frightened of something that has now become a part of me. A part I will always feel and so the loneliness becomes bearable. A bearable part of life that I do not wish to feel but yet, I am powerless to resist. I have felt this feeling of loneliness for so long now that it is hard to remember a time when it didn’t exist. Try as I might this lonely girl is always there, always crying, and always looking for that something that she can never have.
I am walking slower now my vision blurred as I step until I am in that familiar place once more. The sun glistens through the trees with the sound of laughter surrounding me as I walk. My heart flutters as a familiar face smiles. The face of my youth, my teacher, my God and I smile inside, and I am smiling for I am there too. A young carefree girl bursting with laughter, basking in the sun’s rays, with noting to fear and everything to live for, but it doesn’t last long, it never does. The darkness suddenly surrounds the sun and the laughter fades. Once again you are gone as is she, the young carefree girl that I once was. My tears begin to flow and the grief engulfs me as I cry. “Why, why do you leave never giving me the chance to say goodbye.” “Why must I continue to relive these memories?” “Why must I always be alone?”
I am nearing the bus now and once again I am back in reality, my emotions in turmoil as I trudge on. My life is empty. Empty such a strange word for a life and yet it fits mine so perfectly, for I have nothing. No one to comfort me in times of darkness, no one to teach me as I grow, no one to encourage or praise me, no one, for you are gone.
The darkness is still looming as I reach my destination but there is a small glimmer of light shining through. A light that slowly increases until you are there, smiling at me waiting for me and I know I am no longer alone.