Monday, September 24, 2018

MoJoe's Movie Mania: Commando

by badmojoe78 (writer), San Antonio, Texas, October 12, 2010

Credit: Creative Commons
I'm going to pump you up!

In this weeks episode, Arnold Schwarzenegger takes on an island of bad guys...and kills them all. Join me for a look at one of the best action-movies of all time.

My favorite kind of movie is the kind where lots of things blow up and bullets fly every which way. The hero is a total badass, and while he is not invincible, he is pretty much unstoppable. In the end, the body count is through the roof, shit's on fire, and the hero walks away with minimal injuries. This, my friends, is an action-movie. Not one of those modern ones either, the ones full of celebrities and with every genre of movie crammed in, in an effort to grab the largest audience possible. No, this is from the '80's, back when violence, although not nearly as graphic as it is today, was the driving force behind the movie. Loyal readers, I give you Commando.

Released in 1985, this action flick featured the muscle-bound Austrian weight-lifter turned movie star Arnold Schwarzenegger. Unsurprisingly, he plays a former special forces badass who wants a simple life raising his daughter, played by a very young Alyssa Milano. Of course, the bad guys have other ideas. Soon his daughter has been kidnapped and he must race against time to rescue her from the island fortress where she is held. After beating up more than a few mall cops, and some of the minor badguys, Arnie robs a gun store's secret arsenal, and with Rae Dawn Chong in tow, flies to the island and proceeds to systematically wipe the bad guys from the face of the earth. After a dramatic knife fight with the main bad guy, Arnold leaves with his daughter and Tommy Chong's daughter, leaving the island a smoky ruin carpeted in corpses.

This is one of my most favorite action-movies of all time. No bullshit, just straight action and violence, the way it ought to be. Let's not forget Arnold's characteristic one-liners, like when he kills a bad guy on a plane, covers him with a blanket, and tells the stewardess not to disturb him because he is "dead tired." Expect lots of gun play and many interesting and unique ways of killing bad guys, like the scene where, trapped in a shed and out of ammo, Arnold continues killing bad guys using garden implements from the shed. What a badass! The main bad guy is a bit of a push over and is, unsurprisingly, not much of a match for Arnold. I don't know how many people are killed, total, but it's a lot.

If you are a fan of action movies and you haven't seen this one, you should definitely take the time to watch it. Keep in mind that it was made in 1985, so don't expect flashy effects or good music. Just good 'ole ass kicking. Rumor has it there is a remake in the works, supposedly starring Sam Worthington of Avatar and Clash of the Titans fame. But beware! You should know what you get when you make a remake of a bad movie. Another bad movie of course!

About the Writer

badmojoe78 is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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