Let Me Qualify That!
‘I’m a failure!’
I used to say this quite frequently. I would look back over my life and ask myself just what had I accomplished? Had I realized even one of the dreams I held so dear as a child? But then, one day, I had a revelation.
So what were my dreams? What had I hoped to do with my life?
First and foremost I always wanted to be a writer. To me, being a writer meant having a best seller – being a household name, like Stephen King, or Dean Koontz. Well, it never happened. However I did have a piece of my work published. I took part in an online writing course, at the end of which a collection of short stories, including one of mine, was published in book form and made available for purchase. I don’t know how many copies were actually sold – apart from the three that I bought personally. The fact remains I DID become a published author, but just not on the scale I imagined – and why? Could it be because I didn’t actually include the parameters for that scale in my original goal setting? That I didn’t qualify my expectations?
Another of my goals in life was to be a singer with a band. In hindsight I realize that I would never have made the big time as a vocalist. I simply don’t have the range or the power and I most certainly don’t have the dance moves. But for several years I sang back up with a group of Church musicians. On one occasion I was asked to lead the choruses at a Rally in the local Civic and Arts Centre. We had arranged a guest spot by a well known Christian Rock by the name of Victory and they had been busily setting up all of their equipment on the stage.
I was to be accompanied by a solo electric guitarist, and a backup vocalist, but it was a major operation just trying to find somewhere for us to stand without tripping over all the cables. Our fold back speakers were picking up too much interference from all of the rock band’s equipment and it was panic stations all around. Then the rock band suddenly announced that it would be much easier and safer for all concerned if they did the accompaniment themselves.
So I got to sing with a rock band in front of an audience of some 350 people.
Again I DID get to realize a dream – but not as I imagined it. I can look back over my life and see this as a common thread. I really have done most of the things I ever thought I might like to do. Yet because I failed to qualify exactly what I meant with regard to the successful completion of those goals – I’ve looked back and seen only failure.
But it’s not too late. I can still learn from my experiences. I can make sure, in future, that when I set a goal, I qualify what I see as the realization of that goal. Who knows then what I can achieve?
©Lyn Murphy 2010