I thought to lighten the mood a little with a look at some of the most humorous things that I could find that were said by the people either elected to run our government, or those appointed in some capacity. (Yes, ok, ok, I had a bout of writer's block!) Some are dark. Some are funny, but none are boring and some should frighten you. Enjoy.
The minutes of a secret 1975 meeting of the National Security Council attended by President Ford reveal Henry Kissinger grumbling, "It is an act of insanity and national humiliation to have a law prohibiting the President from ordering assassination." Guess our current President agrees with Mr. Kissinger.
In November of 2005, President Bush, when told that his push to re-enact the worst parts of the Patriot Act would alienate those of us in this country who still believe in a free America snapped back at his advisers, ""I don't give a goddamn," Bush retorted. "I'm the President and the Commander-in-Chief. Do it my way.""Mr. President," one aide in the meeting said. "There is a valid case that the provisions in this law undermine the Constitution.""Stop throwing the Constitution in my face," Bush screamed back. "It's just a goddamned piece of paper!"
Reagan's remark announcing the formation of the Statue of Liberty-Ellis Island Centennial Commission, May 18, 1982
"...it makes one wonder about the illegal alien fuss. Are great numbers of our unemployed really victims of the illegal alien invasion or are those illegal tourists actually doing work our own people won't do? One thing is certain in this hungry world; no regulation or law should be allowed if it results in crops rotting in the fields for lack of harvesters."
"The President has kept all the promises he intended to keep." Clinton aide George Stephanopolous.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." Hillary Clinton.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" George W Bush.
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt." Herbert Hoover.
"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full." Henry Kissinger.
"Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything." Frank Dane.
"As people do better, they start voting like Republicans - unless they have too much education and vote Democratic, which proves there can be too much of a good thing." Karl Rove.
"The real reason her nomination sticks in the craw is the brass-and-leather whiff of the Praetorian Guard house. The ancient Praetorian Guard was an elite military unit that guarded Rome's emperors and sometimes murdered them. The modern Praetorian Guard is the penumbra of family and cronies that, under the American imperial Presidency, is accorded unseemly attention and respect. Some Presidents look to it for actual officeholders. Bill Clinton put his wife in charge of health-care policy. John Kennedy put his brother in charge of the Justice Department. Mr. Bush seems to find the Praetorian Guard especially seductive. There were the Texas League Texans he sent to FEMA. Joe Allbaugh, Michael Brown. There was the way his running mate emerged from a search committee headed by Dick Cheney. Look no further! Harriet Miers emerged in the same way, helping to vet judicial nominees. At least she tapped John Roberts before herself; gentlemen first. This is an elitism far more restrictive than anything Ms. Miers critics are charged with. Beltway/Ivy League elitism embraces anyone who works in the federal government, or who graduated from one of seven old colleges. The President's elitism embraces anyone who works down the hall. He looked out over what Tom Wolfe calls this wild bizarre unpredictable hog-stomping Baroque country of ours and whom did he see? The woman sitting next to him." - Richard Brookhiser
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." Ron Paul
"Well, President Bush said he wanted to export American-style democracy and, by God, I think it's working." Barak Obama, speaking of the alleged widespread fraud during the Iraqi elections.
"You got it backwards. You messed around with a Jewish girl, and now you're paying a goyish lawyer. You should have messed around with a goyish girl and gotten a Jewish lawyer." White House aide Rahm Ehmanuel to President Clinton after the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
"As I was telling my husb-" before stopping abruptly, then continuing, "As I was telling President Bush". Condoleeza Rice
"What I'm hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (chuckle) - this is working very well for them"? Former First Lady Barbara Bush, referring to Katrina evacuees.
"You work three jobs? ... Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that". George W. Bush.
"Many of you are well enough off that...the tax cuts may have helped you. We're saying that for America to get back on track, we're probably going to cut that short and not give it to you. We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good". Hillary Clinton.
"If one person criticizes them, or says one more thing, including the president of the United States, he will hear from me - one more word about it after this show airs and I - I might likely have to punch him - literally". Louisiana Sen. Mary Landrieu.
While dressed as Barney the Dinosaur at an office Christmas party, who said, "They don't call me Tyrannosaurus Sex for nothing"? The late Senator Ted Kennedy.
Sen. Jeff Sessions: "I talk to those who've lost their lives, and they have that sense of duty and mission."
Prince George's County, MD, County Executive Jack Johnson: "I always fly business class or first class. I think the people of Prince George's County expect me to. I don't think they expect me to be riding in a seat with four across and I'm in the middle."
"Barack Obama is the worst President in history." Ben Quayle, son of former US Vice President Dan Quayle. (If you don't get this one, Google Dan Quayle.
And the best quote ever from a foreign leader comes from none other than Hugo Chavez while speaking at the U.N. about George Bush, "The devil is right at home. The devil - the devil, himself, is right in the house. And the devil came here yesterday. Yesterday, the devil came here. Right here. Right here. And it smells of sulfur still today."
Hopefully this brightened your day just a little. :)