I wake up to banging down stairs, knowing full well not to dare take a look. I don’t want to see my mom being smashed around or to see her arms being twisted round and round, as he presses her to the ground the bones crack and she screams, while he holds her head back covering her mouth as more bones crack. I saw it once when I was six and learned to never look again. Mom was pregnant back than but after that the baby inside chose to die. I don’t blame the baby I would have done the same if I would have known life would turn out this way.
My alarm goes off I get out of bed, my skin still a tint of pink. I get ready for school and off I go, not bothering to grab food from the shelf. Making my way out of the haunted house, I spit in the open beer as I see the sleeping monster turn in his chair.
I open the door slowly as not to wake him up. I smile as I walk away from the things that occurred yesterday. I smile as I go on the bus, every eye looking at me, boys making room next to them hoping I’d sit with them. I sit by myself as I hear a moan, my phone rings, the monster is calling, I ignore the call trying to stall from hearing his angry tone. Josh eyes me and gives me a smile I look at his prefect teeth and know exactly what those smiles mean. I look out the window and smile back not letting him see my smile, only my back.
“She’s a slut, she’s a whore she’s not a virgin that’s for sure,” I hear the girls whisper these harsh words. Each word stabs me like a sword, each glare, speaks so loud, I can hear it echo in my ear. They all hate me that for sure, the reason, I’m not so sure. They are jealous and envy me to the extreme but that’s the only reason so it seems. I never cheated never told them lies, I never gossip, never tried. I study and do my work, I try my best and it works. My looks are extreme, a rose to the core. My beauty is pure, my body in shape, my curves all in the right place. The boys go crazy as I walk by, none of them ever shy to tell me what’s on their mind. I walk right by, telling them I won’t give them a try. I won’t lie and say I never think twice but the thought of a being used isn’t something that amuses me, it sickens me. I never know who likes me for me and not for what to gain. I am still pure in a sense well at least in my brain. Never gave in to a single guy, stolen innocence is what dwells in my eyes.
I get off the bus I feel a hand brush my bust, I turn to stare as a guilty smile appears. I walk on by pretending I didn’t feel a thing, but my body stiffens and my pride sinks. As I enter the school ready for another day a blow of wind hits my face. My eyes feel cold; I hold my books harder against my chest protecting myself from what ever might come next.
First period is such a bore, I scribble down notes as I rest my head on my hand. A note hits my desk and this is what it says: party tonight 8:00, Kim’s house. Bring alcohol if you can. See you there. “Sounds great” I say, to everyone looking my way. I stuff it in my bag, there’s nothing left to say.
At lunch I sit by myself, eating food that’s bad for my health; pizza, soda and a slice of pie. Kids start to sit around me, saying “hi”, as I silently continue eating my pie. I don’t care to say hi back, don’t care to keep track who sits where, and I don’t care to sit near anyone sitting here. All egotistical, heads held up higher than the sky, their noses in the air, as they fluff their hair. I sit and stare laughing to myself knowing it’s all because of their wealth. I can’t stand a girl, who thinks she is the shit, and act like a bitch just because she’s rich. Can’t stand the guy, who sits nearby, giving me the eye, acting shy he won’t even come and say hi. That crap just won’t fly.