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Sunday, November 18, 2018

President Clinton and Global Warming

by Limoge (writer), Los Angeles, February 06, 2007

Credit:

A report on the "likelihood" that humans are to blame for global warming was released by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) and Clinton's use of the word "likely."

Last week a report on the "likelihood" that humans are to blame for global warming was released by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). In their report it was found that humans are "likely" and "very likelyt" to be responsible for the Earth's increasingly warm temperatures. The authors defined the word "likely" as between 66 percent to 90 percent probable and the words "very likely" as 90 to 99 percent probable.

Now after reading about all this verbal nitpicking, I was somehow reminded of the not too distant past when President Clinton was grilled on whether he had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky and just what he nitpickingly believed sexual relations is. I then started wondering how it would sound if Clinton used the IPCC's verbiage back in the days of his impeachment trial:

Ken Starr: Mr. President, did you have sex with Ms. Lewinsky?

President Clinton: It is 90 percent likely that I did not have sex with Ms. Lewinsky.

Starr: Mr. President, did you have phone sex with Ms. Lewinsky?

Clinton: (clears his throat) It is more likely than not that I did not have phone sex with Ms. Lewinsky.

Starr: (furrows his brow in confusion) Mr. Clinton, do you believe having oral sex performed on you falls into the definition of sexual relations?

Clinton: (clears his throat) As I understand it, it is very likely not.

Starr: Mr. President, did you have oral sex with Ms. Lewinsky in the Oval Office?

Clinton: (pauses, wipes his brow) Is it getting hotter in here or is just me?

I think if President Clinton ever runs out of things to do, he may very well have a spot waiting for him over at the IPCC.



About the Writer

Limoge is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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2 comments on President Clinton and Global Warming

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By Matt Weston on February 07, 2007 at 03:36 pm
Cool, this is fun and witty. I wonder if it's not misplaced in the World section though. It starts off that way, but then quickly veers into meta-news -- so maybe Opinion? Certainly your call, and I enjoyed it either way.
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Log In To Vote   Score: 0
By Doryda88 on July 17, 2014 at 02:03 am

That is so special programy dla firm

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