Rain falls around me like broken glass. I sit on the field covered now in muddy grass. I hold my knees as the rain falls on me making me feel cold, wet and more alone than ever. I’m sitting in mud and the wetness is seeping through my light blue sundress. My rain boots are filled with rain and my hair is soaking and frizzy. A tear waits by the corner of my eye to drip down my face, but it is frozen in place. My body shivers and my dreams disappear as lightning appears and thunder pounds in my ears. How I ended up here I’m not quite sure. I look down at my sundress remembering the happy times; the days I smiled, the scattered laughs, the days I sat in a warm bath. Those days seem so far and lost, as my nightmares caught up to me way to fast.
I open my eyes and look at the clock it’s just past four and my day is already covered in black. I look at the blade in my hand the red blood streaming down my arm. I let out a sigh of relief as my pain begins to go back to sleep. My father calls me to come down stairs ordering me around like he has for so many years. I look over the staircase to make sure it’s safe; he is sitting in his usual place, a beer in hand and a remote in the other as his feet rest on our very old coffee table. I walk down the stairs analyzing my every step hoping I’d fall and break my neck. He wouldn’t take me to the hospital anyway, he’d rather let me die. He never smiles at me never says something nice just a demand and a smack from his hand. He never tells me he loves me or asks me what’s wrong, he just pushes me around.
His eyes glaze my body noticing my arm with the blood dripping down. He then looks into my eyes and tells me to get him another beer showing me clearly he doesn’t care. Mom’s in the kitchen humming a pretty tune making me feel there is hope. As she turns to me her face black and blue she smiles missing a tooth. She used to be so pretty used to have a great smile too. I hate him for hurting her making her look like a fool, harming someone with such a pretty tune. I turn away unable to look no more, as I feel her take my arm. She wipes the blood with her skirt and kisses my head than turns back to what she was doing before.
I bite my lip and grab a beer. I shove it in his hand while he hands me the empty bottle from before. He grabs my arm and squeezes it making the blood leak out faster he looks me in the eye once more, smirks and then pushes me to the floor. I get up showing I don’t care, as I make my way to my room, slamming my door. I hear him laugh I cover my ears and wonder how I put up with him for so many years.
I jump into bed pulling my covers over my head. I try to push out my tears but nothing comes out. I pick up my cell but there’s no one to tell. I will have to keep it to myself. I wash off the blood, as it goes through the hungry drain, but I’ll feed it more another day. I take off my clothes look at the black and the blue as I jump in the shower wishing it would cure my bruises. The water is hot but not hot enough to melt my flesh I turn off the cold hoping to give it a test. I feel my skin scream as the hot water and steam drill me with pain. I turn on the cold and let my body calm down as my burned body turns pink. I hug myself and say sorry. I feel so evil like I got his genes torturing till I hear a scream.
I wrap myself with my towel barely big enough to cover me. I try to make it longer by pulling it down. I open the door seeing my father standing there. His eyes raping my body, I am filled with shame, as he pushes me back into the bathroom against the sink. I hold onto my towel not letting it go, as his fat hands tug it, trying to let it fall to the floor. I kick him and run out the door. I lock myself in my room as I hit the floor and begin to pray. As I lay on the floor pounding my fist as hate fills me up, I beg G-d to let me free from this life of misery. I hear a knock on my door as it gets louder I cover my ears. I pull on some clothes as fast as I can, scared the door will fall, with one pound more. I go in my bed skipping dinner again, I close my eyes and make a wish knowing it won’t come true but what else can I do.