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We All Lose in the Ninja - Pirate War

by J. La Mont (writer), , February 04, 2007

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For far too long the battle between ninjas and pirates have disrupted the natural equilibrium of the Earth. Ninjas, the shadowy creatures of the night, are killing machines known for their stealth and skill. Pirates, lovable hooligans roaming the seven seas, are infamous for their booty and peg legs. No credible sources exist detailing when or why the war began. Some say it resulted from globalization while many blame the beauty of a single woman. What is clear is the drastically declining number of pirates since the eighteenth century puts us all on the plank.

In 2006 worldwide piracy attacks fell for the third year in a row according to the Piracy Reporting Centre of the International Maritime Bureau (IMB). There were 239 attacks on ships in 2006, compared to 276 in 2005 and 329 in 2004. IMB Director Pottengal Mukundan declared “The strategy is working and there are now signs the war against piracy can be won. We just have to keep doing what we have been doing.” I don't know about you but Mukundan sounds awfully ninja-esque.

On the flip-side there have been no media reports of ninjas. Since only unsuccessful ninjas are ever seen it stands to reason they're slaughtering the pirates. You may be wondering why do ninjas killing pirates matter to those of us who lack parrots or flattering black spandex outfits. The answer is that the effects of the extinction of pirates, or any living thing, on the ecosystem are as unknown as they are dangerous. Every creature fills some niche and the decrease of biodiversity increases the possibility of unforeseen results.

I'm by no means a pirate apologist. Extinction is a natural process. Over 99% of the species that have existed are no more It could be our jolly sailors are no longer needed. Also some creatures may perform the duties of pirates making their role redundant to the ecosystem. For example rock stars are known for their flamboyancy, questionable fashion choices, and nomadic pillaging. Others claim music pirates, adopting the ninja's stealth, are a sign that pirates are merely evolving. What we do know is that the traditional rum drinking, foul smelling sayers of "Arrrrr" are becoming rarer and rarer.

There are no simple answers. Pirates aren't Mother Nature's only disappearing creature. According to WWF's Living Planet Report, "Humanity’s Ecological Footprint – the demand people place upon the natural world – has increased to the point where the Earth is unable to keep up in the struggle to regenerate." Imagine cancer curing plants erased forever or life sustaining fish wiped out. The complexity of the planet's ecosystem makes predictions virtually impossible but with the disappearance of pirates and Triceratopses how long before you and I are next?


About the Writer

J. La Mont is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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3 comments on We All Lose in the Ninja - Pirate War

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By V on February 05, 2007 at 03:09 am
Off the North Western coast of Austalia, up across the treacherous seas toward Asia, Pirates are still a very real threat. These days however, they tend to skipper ugly, old, leaky ferry-like boats, the crew kitted out in rags. Hardly the stuff of tales of the high seas. The sword has been replaced by home made shot-guns and itinerant yachtsmen and fishing trawlers beware. Interestingly too, the evolved pirate seems to occupy the same corner of the globe, with the most sophisticated piracy network the world has ever seen, offering extremely high-quality, bootleg films and music. They do a roaring trade all across Asia & the Pacific rim. Funny article! I like it!
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By Izolda88 on June 06, 2014 at 12:52 am

I think is so true and nice pozycjonowanie stron

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By Sofronia88 on June 20, 2014 at 04:25 am

It is so good sukienka na lato

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