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Andy Finch: A Curling Star of the Future

by Ed Attanasio (writer), San Frickin' Frisco, Baby!, April 01, 2010

Credit: Aretha Pearles
Andy Finch is no fool when he's curling.

He's not from Minnesota or Vermont. He's San Francisco's Treat! Andy Finch could be the biggest thing to happen for curling since the legendary Rich Confit!

I located this endearing story by accident. Right here in San Francisco, there’s a third-grader named Andy Finch. People are calling him a curling phenomenon and a future star. He’s won six state and regional tournaments in his age group and he’s already training for the 2018 Winter Olympics. His parents Amy and Alan Finch are very proud of their son and more than happy to help Andy in his pursuit for gold and fame.

"Andy is a curler, plain and simple," Alan Finch said. "We let him try all the sports and it came down to either NASCAR or curling. Since he doesn't have his drivers license, and we didn't want to dumb him down, so NASCAR was dropped. He's embraced curling and it's been a great ride."

I sat down with Andy and his entourage recently. He’s got the star athlete thing down already. Talking about himself in the third person is one of those moves he’s embraced.

“Andy Finch is a great curler,” he said. “Andy will dominate the sport within five years.”

People are calling him the Tiger Woods of the sport.

“Tiger blew it and Andy Finch won’t fall into the same ditch,” he explained. “Besides, Andy Finch is way too young to hook up with night club hostesses, so that’s a good thing.”

The Finches have hired one of the world’s finest curling coaches to work with Andy. He’s a former French champion named Jacque Enyeau.

“He’s amazing, this little Andrew,” Enyeau said. “He grew up with a curling stone in his crib, he teethed on it, he lived with it and his parents diapered it. So he was born to curl.”



About the Writer

Ed Attanasio is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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5 comments on Andy Finch: A Curling Star of the Future

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By Tom Lewis on April 01, 2010 at 06:43 am

This story has special resonance for me. I, too, was a child curling star until I suffered an unfortunate pinky-finger injury at a bonspiel in Winnipeg. No Olympics for me, but I can still sweep my living room in three seconds flat. Goos to see the sport being treated like it deserves....

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By Tom Lewis on April 01, 2010 at 10:32 am

Triple threat, Ed. Rollandier, sweeper and skip. And that was in the days before these sissified push brooms, we used the real thing, back in the day.

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By Theresa H Hall on April 04, 2010 at 04:01 pm

The Olympics had lots of curling competitions, in fact there seemed to be more newscasters reporting on this sport than the others. It's something I might be able to do, if I would not fall down on the ice.

Andy is a cool dude. Keep practicing young lad.

Happy Easter Ed.

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By Theresa H Hall on April 05, 2010 at 03:42 pm

Ed,

I thought it was partially real and partially April Fool's. Guess you ... GOT ME! Good one.

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By LoveChef on April 30, 2010 at 01:01 pm

I bought this 100% until you revealed that it's an April Fools piece. Well-written and very funny!

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