I never thought I'd do something like this, but my [best friend/hair dresser's mother/case worker] told me she had a friend whose sister-in-law met her late ex-husband on the Internet, so I thought I'd give it a try. My friends say I am honest, loyal and [funny/kind/fatalistic/problematic]. I love to laugh and always have something [kind/generous/funny/irrational] to say to people I meet on the [street/elevator/way to the hospital].
I see every day as a gift from [god/a higher power/a mysterious man who hides in my closet] and I make a point to [live life to its fullest/enjoy everything New York has to offer/throw stones at moving cars/take my medication regularly]. I am a real, down-to-earth gal who can't live without art, movies, theatre, museums and [the outdoors/Italian food/sudden lapses in consciousness/ecstatic visions of the great beyond].
I work very hard in my job as a [fashion designer/grade school teacher/Satanic priestess/intergalactic call girl], yet always find time to enjoy a game of [tennis/scrabble/strip poker/midget tossing]. I feel truly blessed to have [great friends and family/good health/a place to live/a psychic connection to higher powers that tell me what to do]. I am positive and upbeat and like nothing more than to [play with my nieces and nephews/walk my Pomeranian/wander through Central Park with no clothes on/set fire to other people's homes]. I am low maintenance and feel most comfortable at [Symphony Hall/a Yankees game/a den of iniquity/a dark and distant planet].
I am looking for a [lover/mate/partner in crime/final solution] who will treat me as an equal and has [family values/good morals/great pectorals/a bad ass attitude]. He's funny, dresses well and knows how to [make me laugh/treat a lady/tie his shoes/skin wild animals]. Although manly, confident and assertive, he is also capable of great [tenderness/sensitivity/malice/self-pity].
Well, I've said enough about me. If any of this sounds good to you, reply with an email (no winks, please), and tell me something about yourself. But if you are looking for casual sex, a fling or affair, you should [look elsewhere/meet my sister/become a Catholic priest/IM me immediately].