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Sunday, October 22, 2017

I Quit my Rambling

Credit: fleur-de-louis
Consider the ratio of boat to sea

A recollection of a time in my life when I experienced a manic episode and the mindset leading up to the fact.

I had this image of love and nothing came close, not even the one I esteemed to be the "one".

My heart was disguised by anger....

below the surface brewed a concoction of hurt feelings and fear of the world.

I boasted to myself that I was as tough as any man and prided myself on the fact that amongst all the little girls I always stayed a true lady.

I was governed by my heart, a small vessel being thrown about ferocious waves as I begged the sky to bring on more.

And as high and mighty as I was, I was finally brought down, humbled and humiliated in the form of psychosis.

If life was a poker game, it was my mind that held the royal flush.

In retrospect it was as if I had been a car stuck in the mud, spinning it's wheels in place creating a deeper hole---one day shooting out at full speed with no control.

The image of the mighty little ship was lost.

After seven days with no sleep and little food, I quit making sense.

The cops released me to state doctors.

They gave me titles like bipolar, psychotic and schizo affective.

Now everyone knew what I really was.

Helpless.

My heart was broken, my spirit sedated by the drugs.

I was a creature once--mighty and boastful, transformed into this thing of mercy.

To all those mighty ships out there, be mindful of your ratio to the sea.



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1 comments on I Quit my Rambling

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By Lady D on February 28, 2010 at 12:01 pm
This is great. It is hard when our illusion of life and ourselves is broken. "Remember it 's just a ride" Comedian Bill Hicks
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