Saturday, August 18, 2018

Why We HATE the Post Office

The name of this article, alone gives one chills. There is not an American alive today who has not set foot at least once in a local post office. There are very, very few who have come out of that same post office in less than 30 minutes. Is there a snowbal's chance in hell of the postmaster general of the United States reading this article? Probably not, but it can be said with certainty that anyone who does read this will readily identify with the subject.

The United States Postal Service is actually given space within the Constitution. Article I, Section 8 of the Constitution says,"Congress shall have power to establish post offices."

This gives the USPS Constitutional right to exist. However, what the USPS does not take into account is that while Congress has the power to create post offices, it also has the power to disband post offices, including the entire USPS!

It is time for the people of the United States to demand that their Congress begin expecting disclosed accountability of the post office. But since no one in Congress has the guts to take on the postal service (probably because they haven't the guts period), a public reformation of the postal service is in order. And, just as Martin Luther posted his 95 Theses on the door of the Wittenberg Castle church, you, the reader may consider this a reformation declaration for the United States Postal Service.

1) Complete and total elimination of the recognition of any organized postal workers' union. Unions are worthless bags of garbage to begin with, but this one stinks with more putridity than any other. Postal workers do not perform a service possessing of any more skill than can be taught to a chimpanzee. How hard can it be to drive around in a truck all day stuffing pieces of mail into boxes? Okay, so you need to be able to drive a truck. Obviously any moron (or illegal immigrant) can obtain a driver’s license so this opens the door to many incompetent buffoons for the position of postal worker.

2) Since the level of competence for the job of postal worker is slightly less than that of Jell-O, they do not need to be paid such outrageous salaries. Let these buffoons earn minimum wage for what they do. The capitalist system in the United States is fair to all of those who gain education. The more education you have, the higher your pay should be. Since the job of postal worker is equivalent in education requirement to, say, barn swallows, the most this job should pay is minimum wage ever.

3) Because of the complete lack of skill required to work as a postal worker, and because the kinds of imbeciles who can truly qualify are a dime a dozen, all post offices must be staffed at 100% during the time it is open. After all, when you're charging almost 40 cents a piece for First Class mail and only paying minimum wage, you can afford to be staffed at 100% during business hours. For example, if a post office has six customer service stations, all six of those stations must be staffed from the time the post office opens until the time it closes. This will facilitate those who need to get their items purchased quickly and get on with their business. Recently a post office with nine service windows was observed with only three of those windows staffed and there were no less than 30 customers standing in the line. The thirtieth person standing in that particular line advanced so slowly toward the window that by the time she was serviced by a postal worker, her brown hair had turned grey and her infant son graduated from medical school.

4) All pieces of mail will be labeled with a tracking number. Any piece of mail that takes more than three days to get from point A to point B will incur a fine levied against all of the workers in every post office through which the piece traveled -- even if that worker never touched the package. The fine will be no less than $100 per person, per day that the piece of mail exceeds three days. This money will be divided between the sender and the recipient. If there is no way to determine the sender (this will serve as incentive to put return addresses on mail), the recipient receives the entire fine. If there are 20 people in each office and the package passes through 10 offices, that is 200 people times $100, that's s a fine of $20,000 just for a piece of mail that is late! Do you think that facing those kinds of monetary losses, the USPS might just get its act together?

5) The Postal Service must be required to operate only on the money it receives from the sale of postage and postal-related materials. While Congress charters it, there is no requirement that Congress fork over money. Additionally, first class postage may not exceed 25 cents per piece. Keep the charge rates as they are now, but they are never allowed to go up. This is a government operation so the people get it cheap! It acts cheap, so why not operate it cheap!

6) It costs virtually nothing to pay a postal worker on minimum wage, so, it is possible to go back to a twice a day mail delivery Sunday through Friday with once on Saturday. Besides, trained monkeys can work eight hours every day, so why can't postal workers?

There is absolutely no reason why the postal service has to operate the way it does now. Furthermore, it is operated as a monopoly. It is a federal law that no person can operate a postal service outside that of the United States Postal Service. It has often been said that in a capitalist society, it is competition that increases value. With the way the postal service is run, the time to change the law and implement some competition to give the USPS a rather abrupt and much-deserved kick in the butt.

About the Writer

D. E. Carson is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
Want to write articles too? Sign up & become a writer!

4 comments on Why We HATE the Post Office

Log In To Vote   Score: -1
By Annonymous on January 12, 2007 at 04:24 pm
This is completely disrespectful and offensive. And no, I don't work for the post office.
 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: -1
By Annonymous on March 19, 2007 at 11:05 pm
Although I don't like the post office, I still have to disagree with you. I really disagree with your views about the duties and pay for the employees. If you want to slam the employees so bad, why don't you go work for them as a Temporary Rural Carrier and find out what the job actually entails. I did work for the post office, but voluntarily left, and I worked harder there than I did when I was in the military. I dropped 30 pounds also. I bet you don't work 12 hour days 6 days out of the week... so don't talk about what you don't know. By the way, drivers don't just drive, their day starts well before they hit the street
 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 0
By D.S. Skibinski on June 15, 2007 at 06:01 pm
Let me be the one to write this feature in rebuttal to the non-sense that was written about the Postal Service. D.E. Carson needs to have his/her head examined. Obviously a higher education isn't necessary to write articles for this wrag. If D.E Carson would have done even the slightest bit of research then he/she would have known that the Postal Service employs some of the most intelligent and talented people in the world. I invite him/her to "hang around" with me for a week. I bet you your life he/she would need counseling afterward. I do however support one and only one comment, that we should get rid of the Unions. I support that 100%. They only protect the sick, lame and lazy. As for the rest, well D.E Carson must have failed the Postal exam and now has a grudge against the Postal Service. Either that or he/she has a primate fixation from all of the chimpanzee and monkey references made. Let's get one thing straight, if he/she was any good and his/her job, they would have told both sides of the story.
 Report abuse

Log In To Vote   Score: 0
By PhillipP on August 24, 2009 at 09:39 pm

The most relevant article I have read about the Post Office in a long time. The incompetence of the mail carriers is unbelievable. Today for the sixth time in a row, my order of photos arrived creased. When the carrier was on vacation all my orders arrived in perfect condition. 

 Report abuse

Add A Comment!

Click here to signup or login.

Rate This Article

Your vote matters to us