Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Cat Farts!

by Innocent Owner (writer), Costa Mesa, Ca, December 30, 2009

Credit: Michael L Kaser

We have all done it. The difference is, who do YOU blame it on?

Let's cut to the chase, everyone farts. We spend our entire life coming up with unique ways to blame it on anything and everything. We are embarrassed by it yet we all do it. Fill a room with 30 people and an all too familiar smell and you would get 30 comments along the lines of "I didn't do it", "I don't smell anything", "did something just die?" It's in our nature, we can't help it.

Opening the front door one cold, late October afternoon, I entered the house only to be hit with an over bearing smell. I called out to my roommate, "I think the pumpkin went bad, it stinks". He responded from the other room "it's fine, it was the cat". How sad, I thought, we've come to blaming the cats. I hollered in response, "The cat's 2 years old, you mean to tell me he chose today to start blowing air poo?" And then the familiar response, "wasn't me".

The following day as I sat at the computer doing what I'm sure was extremely important things, the familiar smell of rotten pumpkin came bellowing up. I looked across at my roommate who had a big smile on his face and was trying not to laugh, "wasn't me, I swear". "Go outside", I begged. It was too cold to open all the windows. "Better yet", I said, "go down the street". Yes, that bad. Laughing now, he says "I swear, it's the cat"

For a week this went on and every time, he blamed the cat. I pointed out that it only happened when he was around. I pointed out that before I could smell anything, he started laughing. I pointed out the cat was only 10 pounds and 10 pounds of cat could not produce that.

At the end of the week as I sat at the computer doing what I'm sure was extremely important things, I was enveloped by rotten pumpkin once again. Just as I was about to say something, I realized, I was alone. Almost alone I should say. At my feet lay 10 pounds of cat looking up at me. Although he couldn't speak, I could read his eyes and they simply said, "Wasn't me".

About the Writer

Innocent Owner is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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5 comments on Cat Farts!

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By JJFCPA on December 30, 2009 at 03:49 pm

How right you are

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By Under the radar on December 31, 2009 at 09:00 am

Junior High School. Team history report in front of the class. The streetwise guy was paired withe the quiet nerdy kid who obviously did all the work on the report.

A junior high nightmare ensues as the streetwise guy explodes a level five loudness fart. Not missing a beat, the streetwise kid turns to his partner, sniffs the air, waves his arms and exclaims, OH, BENNETT! When the nedry kid realizeed what had just hapened, he turned crimson and seems to shrink five inches into the floor!

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By Lady D on December 31, 2009 at 11:12 am

Very funny!!! I have a dog that looks around quizikly when she farts. As if to say "What was that?" And then smells herself to verify "wasn't me."

The rating is a five it just wouldn't let me

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By Theresa H Hall on December 31, 2009 at 05:11 pm

Being such a feline lover, I can just imagine the innocent look bestowed upon you. Change the cat's diet and be done with the rotting pumpkin and blameless residents. Good tale.

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By Alodia88 on June 23, 2014 at 11:53 pm

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