Saturday, November 17, 2018

The Eve of the Playoffs

by Eric Karlan (editor), Philadelphia, December 21, 2009

A holiday poem for festive football fans

'Tis the eve of the playoffs, and oh boy what a scene,

Still thirteen teams trying to earn Game Seventeen,

The Chargers and Vikings and Eagles have berths,

And the Colts, Saints, and Cards have all proven their worth,

But with six spots remaining and two weeks to play,

Who will survive to compete one more day?

The NFC only has three teams to choose,

With two wild card invites for team ball clubs to lose,

Barring collapses of epic proportions,

Even Dallas won't suffer December contortions,

For the Cowboys and Packers both are nine-and-five,

So the Giants' playoff hopes are barely alive,

And if nothing changes in the coming weeks two,

We'll all succumb to NFC deja vu,

The Boys play the Eagles, and the Cards play the Pack,

In Week Seventeen - now here comes what's whack,

During Wild Card weekend, they'll all play the same foe,

If seeding stays stagnant - that's two two-in-a-rows!

Now the AFC, oy, well that's flat out confusing,

With so much dependent on to whom teams are losing,

Six ball clubs boast records now even at seven,

Praying to ascend into playoff heaven,

The road will be tricky, other teams need to tumble,

By penalties, miscues, or simply a fumble,

On Sunday, the Steelers can start a chain reaction,

By beating the Ravens in pummeling fashion,

And if the Broncos choke again in Philly,

The whole playoff picture becomes that much more silly,

For if Denver and Baltimore both fail to win out,

Tiebreakers will be what the last week's all about,

Miami would master its own destiny,

If it beats Houston and Pitt, which will not prove easy,

But if the Steelers top the Ravens and Fins,

They have potential for seven Super Bowl wins,

(Shocking after bombing five games in a row,

With losses to Cleveland and Oakland to show),

The chances for Texans and Jaguars looks downcast,

And, amazingly, one of them could finish in last,

Their rival, the Titans, started losing six straight,

But if they beat the Bolts Thursday, hopes will turn great -

A Tennessee miracle scored on Christmas Eve,

Courtesy - not of Santa - but of Vince-anity -

Last of all, the Jets' chances stink worse than a fart,

If the starters on Indy and Cincy insist that they start,

Both New York teams would then be left out in the cold,

Before moving to new field 'cross the car lot from old,

All these teams want for Christmas is a shot at the title,

Not a pony, a watch, or American Idol,

But this present will in no way be made by the elves,

It's a gift they must make and unwrap for themselves,

Winning comes first, and for some, they'll need luck,

To overcome digging themselves in a muck,

Green Bay and Dallas almost have guarantees,

As do those in New England and Cincinnati,

As for the last two in, here they are, mark my word,

The Titans and Ravens will emerge from the herd,

Post your comments below, say why my picks are worse,

(And do not feel pressure to respond in verse),

After all, in the playoffs, you do not need a poem,

You just need to win, or else you will go home,

To win in this season, you must play all right,

And then you'll be happy - and if not, then good night.

About the Writer

Eric Karlan is an editor for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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