Email
Print
by 
When Andrew Morgan was first recommended to me as an interesting interview subject I wasn’t initially over excited. I was told he was an ex military man who has been working on a book about his life. The prospect of listening to endless daring exploits in the Andy McNab Bravo 2 Zero vein didn’t exactly peak my interest. But I was informed that although as a 17 year old he did see active combat during the Bosnian War this was only part of his life story. A life story that when finished had me asking whether the events he had described could be backed up by hard evidence.
Understandably I didn’t want to go on record with his story only to find out that most of it came from an overactive imagination or with the events enhanced with the aid of a David Peltzer novel. Sifting through old doctor’s notes of continual injuries and broken bones brought to light that this didn’t seem a case of an enhanced imagination.
Andrew Morgan’s story is one of a child placed into the social care system for their own protection only to be let down again and again. As a child during the late 1970s, and the entire following decade, he endured years of mental, physical, and sexual abuse from his government appointed designated carers. This is a story that begins before Andrew could even walk or talk.
Survivor is an apt word that is used to describe people who have endured life’s hardships. For many survivors the demons are sometimes kept hidden just below the surface by alcohol and narcotics. Bitterness, self loathing and sorrow can also be kept hidden well below the surface but sometimes it shows in the eyes. Talking to 32 year old Andrew I can see no apparent evidence of any emotional scars. There is no sadness in the eyes and his manner when recounting his early years is at times unemotional, as if he is reading from an internal autocue.
When it comes to actually naming names and talking about certain people from his past there is, however, a noticeable emotional shift, and it’s clear that Andrew still thinks of these people with contempt. His mother, for example, who had custody of Andrew after she had split from his father. She was an alcoholic who would, “break my arms and legs or cut and burn me, so that I would have to be taken into hospital. She was then free to spend her days and nights drinking without her baby to worry about.” This abuse of an eight month old baby was allowed to continue for a further seven months before the social services department intervened and he was taken into care.
Until the age of five, Andrew and his younger brother were shuttled to various children’s homes around Britain. During this time Andrew’s father, and his father’s friend, a well know British Lord whom Andrew had stayed with for a short time, had tried to gain custody of the child. After many unsuccessful custody attempts his father eventually relocated to America where he still lives today. Another three decades would pass before Andrew actually talked to his father and they have still never met in person.
At the ages five and three, both boys were then placed in long term foster care with a couple called Brian and Carol. To the outside world there were a normal couple; Brian a fireman and Carol an Accident and Emergency nurse. But for Andrew and his younger brother this supposedly responsible couple were the inflictors of daily beatings and mental abuse over the course of the next six years. “Upsetting either of them could mean physical abuse such as beatings or standing against a wall for 13 hours at a time without food or drink,” said Andrew, “On more than one occasion I ate the food out of the dog bowl, that was a meal to me.”
So why did these two people, who obviously had no interest in bringing up two children as well as their own daughter decide to act as foster carers? “It was simply about money,” states Andrew, “they had no interest in us at all apart from the money they were receiving from the government, which was a lot at that time.” The physical beatings continued on an almost daily basis with a range of implements including pans, shoes, and even a clock. “Having your head smashed against a mirror wasn’t uncommon for something trivial but the emotional torture was in some ways worse,that really stung. Being allowed to play with your Christmas presents for a few minutes before they were thrown in the bin never to be seen again still sticks in my mind.”
Brian and Carol seemed determined to inflict as much as abuse as possible even when Andrew wasn’t in their vicinity. “At the age of eight they made me wear a nappy because I had wet myself during one of Brian’s beatings. But the nappy punishment wasn’t just for in the house, that wouldn’t have been humiliating enough for me. They made me wear it to school and told the teacher that I had to wear it. This happened frequently until the age of 11, much to the joy of my school mates. Sometimes after another evening of no food I would get so hungry at night I would eat the gel that filled the nappies.”
At some point during this period the teachers became suspicious that something was obviously wrong with the boy and eventually the social services were called to Andrew’s home. “Brian and Carol had ample warning that social workers were coming and could easily create the illusion of a happy family atmosphere. I wasn’t going to risk saying anything; that would just mean more punishment. The social workers didn’t have to live with them, I did. Adults believe adults not kids.”
Beatings, freezing cold baths, self harming and running away from home became common staples of everyday life for Andrew. But when the couple’s daughter’s arm was broken in an accident Andrew took the full brunt and was again taken into the “care” of social services. He was not even given the chance to say goodbye to his brother who remained in the care of Brian and Carol.
For all intents and purposes Brian and Carol would seem to be the embodiment of the stuff of childhood nightmares. But for Andrew his next foster parents brought a darker aspect to his story. From the age of 11 until just before his 16th birthday Andrew was fostered by Diane and Dave, another couple who had been passed by the social services department as fit to be foster carers. “As a child I didn’t think it could get much worse but Diane and Dave they were amateurs in the abuse stakes compared to Brian and Carol.”
Beatings and mental abuse were once again a daily occurrence over the next four years but now sexual abuse from Dave also came into the picture. As Andrew says, “It got so bad I didn’t care anymore, I simply shut down and took the abuse. As a child you just give in and disappear, the only escape was lying in my bed trying to make the night stretch for as long as I could.” There is a visible scar on Andrew’s chest that he shows me. This is the consequence of an argument that led to Diane stabbing him with turkey fork. The scar is still prominent, as are the scars from the years of self harm. Even if he could block out the memories of his childhood years of abuse, these scars survive to this day as a permanent reminder.
At 15 years old Andrew was thrown out from his foster home, not for the first time, but this time he simply didn’t return. A garden shed was his home for the remaining six months of his legal childhood and whatever scraps he could find or steal became his daily food. “Any money I had I spent on food. For some reason I bought custard cream biscuits all the time, “he manages to laugh at this memory, “I still can’t eat those biscuits today.” On his sixteenth birthday the army became Andrew’s life, and by 17 he saw activity duty in the Bosnian War. This is a part of his life he is still not allowed to talk about under the official secrets act, although from what he has told me during the interview this part of his life would make a book in its own right.
I asked him why, at the age of 16, he decided to join the army after years of what can only be described as regimented childhood abuse. At an age when the freedom he so longed for was now within his reach why did he decide to sign up for a life of rules and regulations, again imposed on him by others. “I joined the army because I felt that I would be protected by this organisation, that they would look after me and also teach me not to be the loser that I was told I was.”
Andrew’s life since his army years has been one of highs and lows. In what seems like a vicious circle that began with his mother’s alcohol dependency, alcohol problems have also played a major role in the years since his childhood. There have been many suicide attempts over the years, with the scars are still evident on his wrists. As the years have passed since his childhood horrors he has made a successful bid to restore his life to some semblance of normality. Now, at 32 he is happily married and rarely touches alcohol. He has been a successful business man and is about to undertake a psychology degree. Having seen more of the dark side of life before the age of 20 than most people have seen in an entire lifetime he is trying to help others come to terms with their emotional problems.
If Andrew is angry about his past he keeps it well hidden now. He has managed to retain a witty sense of humour and a surprisingly optimistic outlook on life. When I ask if he is still angry he replies, “Of course I am but I direct that anger in a different way now. If I didn’t use it as a positive energy in my life then they would have won, and there is only so long you can allow them to control your life. Their influence has to stop, that’s one thing I have control over.”
Although Andrew himself keeps a philosophical outlook about his past experiences it seems that for one key figure in his life, age doesn’t bring wisdom, or even guilt. It was an incredibly insensitive and telling statement made by his mother that led him to his psychology course. “I contacted her recently looking for some answers, ironically through the Friends Reunited website. Her reply to me was that everything that happened is in the past, and that I should simply, in her words, get over it. But my past has a direct bearing on everything I do in the future. My past experiences make up who I am today and not only affect my future but other people’s futures. It’s a chain, and all the experiences we have in life can have a positive or a catastrophic effect on the lives of others, whether we realise it or not.”
Before I end the interview I ask one more question. Does Andrew place responsibility for his childhood experiences at any one person’s door? He thinks for a minute then answers, “To be honest, I blame the foster parents for thinking they could beat the system, thinking that no one sees what goes on but then again I also blame my real parents for the whole thing. The answer to that question - it changes every single day.”
X Names have been changed in this article.
Print
Report abuse
Report abuse
This was a powerfully intense article and so very telling about the lack of even a modicum of help with government agencies which should have intervened on many levels. This story of survival would put many of us to shame.