This year my holiday spirit is definitely not up to par. I don’t know if my lack of enthusiasm can be attributed to the economy this past year or if I am suffering from holiday blues. I have tried to get myself into the holiday spirit in a number of different ways. I have watched my favorite holiday movie, A Christmas Story, at least 5 times since Thanksgiving. I have been drinking lots of hot cocoa and eggnog (with Bailey’s, so surely the alcohol would have bolstered my spirits) and while doing my holiday shopping, my ears have perked up hearing the Little Drummer Boy playing in the stores I have visited.
But no matter how resourceful I have been to try to lift my holiday spirits, I still am not feeling 100% excited about Christmas. I would hate to think that I am turning into a Scrooge! I could care less if anyone gets me a gift and I am not particularly in the gift giving mood. When I told my mother that I wasn’t feeling particularly festive and that I thought this was slightly horrible, she agreed that this was bad form. But then she went on to share her thoughts and feelings about the holiday. She stated that the holidays weren’t the same as they were when she was growing up. In my mother’s younger years, holidays were a time to spend with family and going to church. I can’t remember the last time that my mother and I set foot in a church together on Christmas Eve or even Christmas Sunday. And while I see my mother every year for Christmas, it just isn’t the same as it used to be. As she listed off the differences between the past and present, I had to remind her that we don’t host Christmas at our house anymore and that our new family (my stepbrother and sister in law) have their own traditions that they celebrate.
Perhaps tradition is what is at the root of it all. The traditions that I was raised by don’t seem to apply for various reasons. I grew up in Massachusetts and now live in NYC and my mother now lives in Pennsylvania. We are geographically distanced from my aunt and uncle, who still live in the Boston area. I am no longer a child who wants to wake up at 5am to see what presents Santa left under the tree for me. I no longer snoop in the closets to see what gifts have been hidden from my prying eyes. Because I am single with no children, there is no one to pass these traditions down to.
Or maybe, the weather is the culprit. Although the temperatures have been quite brisk, in the 20’s, we have yet to see any snow. Although I am not a super huge fan of cold weather, I do like the commercially endorsed White Christmas and probably would never be able to live somewhere it doesn’t snow in the winter. There is nothing like waking up early on Christmas morning and looking out the window to see a white blanket of freshly fallen snow, making everything look picturesque with the trees glistening in the sun as the snow reflects the light.
I think tonight I will put up my holiday decorations and listen to holiday songs.
If the 12 days of Christmas started yesterday, I am hoping by the 12th day my holiday spirit will be in full swing!