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Thursday, October 19, 2017

I Can Make It, I Can Make It...I Can't Make It

by Innocent Owner (writer), Costa Mesa, Ca, November 17, 2009

Credit: Photograph by Michael L Kaser
Rock

Different? Maybe, just depend on how you look at it

     Grace.  Finesse.  Agility.  These words are synonymous with cats.  They have beauty and style as they maneuver around with pinpoint accuracy to snatch a bug out of mid air, the swiftness to trip you up without ever getting kicked. Grace.  Finesse.  Agility.  You can use these words to describe all cats.  So why did mine just smash into the side of the table, face first?

     Rock sat on the arm of the chair, looking back and forth between me and the table, as if to say “I can make it”.  I stared back, “no, you can’t”.  His hind legs squatted down and tensed up, “I can make it”.  I rolled my eyes, “no, you can’t”.  His tail flicks, butt wiggles and snap, off he goes.  Two feet, that is all he had to do and yet he still landed face first into the side of the table.  I shrug my shoulders, “told you so”.

     He has been like this all his life.  Luckily, he never got truly hurt but it did cause some problems.  On a trip to the Vets office I was called back to the consulting office.  “Mr. Innocent, have you or anyone in your home ever hit your cats?” he asks me.  I told him no, I do not believe any animal should be hit for any reason.  I have two squirt bottles and a super soaker for when they’re bad.  Super soaker is for that long distance bad and I’m too lazy to get up.  He proceeds to tell me my cat has a fat lip and it looks like someone hit him in the face.  Trying not to laugh because this is serious stuff, I try to explain that Rock came running down the hall this morning at full speed and turned the corner…too soon.  He went head on into the wall.  Even to my own ears this sounded like the “I got a black eye from the door” story.  The Doctor gave me the stink eye basically and told me Rock would have to stay for about two days.

     Two days later, I stopped by the Vets to pick up my cat.  I’m told by the receptionist that the Doctor would like to speak to me.  She ushers me into the tiny consulting room to wait, horrible thoughts are running through my head.  I’m thinking he really believes I abuse my cat and he’s not going to give him back.  After 10 minutes the door opens and in walks the Doc, “Mr. Innocent” he says to me, “I owe you an apology”.  It seems, Rock was sitting on the examining table and made an attempt to jump over to a counter top.  He didn’t make it.

     Grace.  Finesse.  Agility.  You can use these words to describe all cats.  It just depends on how you look at it.  When Rock crashes, he does so with great finesse.  He has the agility to always land on his feet as he crashes to the floor.  And he has all the grace of a drunk as he swaggers off down the hallway in search of a new place to sleep.



About the Writer

Innocent Owner is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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9 comments on I Can Make It, I Can Make It...I Can't Make It

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By plainolebob on November 17, 2009 at 06:52 pm

mike, your in the papers, do the cats know

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By Innocent Owner on November 17, 2009 at 06:56 pm

No, and I'm not telling them

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By Theresa H Hall on November 17, 2009 at 07:29 pm

I suppose he doesn't know he is any different from the other kitties. We have many feline children. Meow.

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By Lady D on November 17, 2009 at 07:29 pm

That was great! I love goofy pet stories.

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By Innocent Owner on November 17, 2009 at 11:40 pm

Theresa, I wasn't going to be the one to tell him he was different.

Lady D, I'm glad you enjoyed

 

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By Theresa H Hall on November 18, 2009 at 12:14 am

We had a cat named Huxtable who left us in 1992, too soon. One morning he decided to leap from the bed to the top of the armoire. Up he jumped ... arms out-flung in a superman pose, suspended in the air ... and then down he went. He look embarrassed and we did try to stifle the bubbling mirth with our pillows. 

He was our first kitty. 

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By Innocent Owner on November 18, 2009 at 09:47 am

Sounds like he had the grace and finesse part down, just needed to work on his agility.

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By The Clean White Page on November 18, 2009 at 03:00 pm

Brilliant, funny and observant, as always!

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By Innocent Owner on November 25, 2009 at 06:45 pm
Thank you CWP. I am glad you loved the story about Rock
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