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Friday, December 15, 2017

The Hipsters Guide to Being a Mom

by Selina Jane (writer), Toronto, ON, October 30, 2009

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I remember a time when people asked me if I wanted kids and my response was “I don’t know” or “not right now”. I had a great career, a hot little bod, a cute MINI Cooper, and an active social life.

And then… It happened!

I remember lumbering around in my newly pregnant body looking at the moms clucking like hens on my street, or drinking their coffee in the park and thinking “I’m not like them.” I just didn’t see myself in their shoes.

When my girls were born (yes “girls” - I had TWO at one time) it was the most amazing moment of my life. The first year was incredibly hard and a total shock to my life, but things gradually became easier as they grew older and our bond became solidified.

A lot of moms get so lost in motherhood that they forget every other aspect of their lives. They sacrifice unnecessarily, and often to the detriment of their children.

Fear not, my fellow sisters and life creators. If you’ve lost your way or feel that all you do is live for your children, there are things you can do to get yourself back to the sassy woman you once were.

DON'T STOP YOUR HOBBIES BECAUSE "YOU DON'T HAVE TIME"

Sorry… But I raise twin 4 yr old girls, run a business, have an art career, participate in local causes, take my girls to ballet, walk them to the school bus every day, and still find time for my hobbies. And I am a single mom.

Hobbies are the things that make you happy. So if you’ve given up your Stitch ‘n’ Bitch group, get it back! If you’ve stopped going to your Sunday night book club, start going again. Don’t lose the things that make you happy and enrich your life. You’ll be a better mom for it!

KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOUR GAL PALS
I have my moments where I am awful at getting back to my friends, or don’t have time to get together. If I do make plans, they are made well in advance and proper arrangements must be made for childcare. Not quite like it was back in the pre-kid days where I got dolled up, grabbed my purse and bolted out the door.

Your girlfriends will keep you sane on the craziest of days. They keep you talking about things like sex, relationships, fashion, gossip, and mom stuff too! But most importantly, they keep you smiling and laughing.

Even if you can’t get together, find the time to call them up and have a coffee over the phone. Make plans for the following month, or hell, Facebook them for that matter!

DON'T BE "THE SOURCE" ON PARENTING
There’s nothing more annoying than a mom who thinks she is the shining beacon of motherhood and has it all figured out! You know the one. She’s quick to give you advice and also quick to judge.

Parenting is not easy. Being a mom is not easy! There will be good days and there will be bad days. Every mom has challenges. Don’t make the mistake of preaching to your friends about their parenting tactics. That’s just rude and disrespectful. If they ask for your advice, give it tastefully. Otherwise, keep out of it and just be there to listen and support your friend during those hard times.

DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR LOOK
You don’t have to rock a ponytail and wear yoga pants and t-shirts every day. In fact you will probably feel more like a woman if you allow yourself to get dolled up every now and then, even if you have nowhere special to go.

Put those heels back on, wear some sassy underwear, and strut your stuff. Maybe even do your makeup! You don’t have to subscribe to the tired mom look EVERY day! Of course, we all rock that look once in a while!

Making time for yourself is important to how you will feel inside. Simple things like getting your hair done, getting a manicure, and buying a new outfit will make a huge difference to how you feel about yourself, and how happy of a mom you are.

FIND TIME TO BE ACTIVE
Even if it’s only once or twice a week. Make it part of your routine. You can take a Zumba class, go for a run, do yoga or Pilates. The point is to do something. Physical activity is great for the endorphins and makes you feel good about yourself. You’ll have an extra pep in your step. Even your sex life will benefit. Most gyms have daycare for a nominal amount, but sometimes getting out to be active is your personal time away from the kids. Do something you enjoy. Working out doesn’t have to be a chore.

And finally…

HAVE FUN WITH YOUR KIDS
Don't be so serious! Roll around on the grass with them. Act silly. Make faces. Do crafts with them. Have a dance party in the living room. These are the moments that will make them glow with happiness; moments that they will remember.

The dishes can wait!

You are a mom. You created human life! Embrace that power and make it work for you! You only get one shot at this life, don’t waste the best years of your life being robotic, boring and uninspired. You are SO MUCH more than that!



About the Writer

Selina Jane is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
Want to write articles too? Sign up & become a writer!

8 comments on The Hipsters Guide to Being a Mom

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By TonyBerkman on October 30, 2009 at 11:50 am

Great read.  Critical insights for mom's and dad's alike.   Call it mom 2.0 or just getting a grip on reality (not that I know being single without kids).   There is no need for anyone to who they are for another person.  By becoming more of who you are, the more you can give to your kids, friends and community.

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By manny osborne on October 30, 2009 at 12:50 pm

good guide

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By TonyBerkman on October 30, 2009 at 02:14 pm

I like what Selina sent me on FB,

"Parenthood is frightening, but you don't realize it until it's too late... Then you just embrace it. LOL"

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By Angie Alaniz on October 30, 2009 at 06:07 pm

Nice article as it relates to just about any women of age. 

Lovely Kids, makes me want to take them home.  : D

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By TonyBerkman on November 01, 2009 at 11:21 pm

@AA, and once you take them home you'll probably want to give them right back.

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By Far Muse on November 03, 2009 at 09:35 am

Great piece. Would like to see more from you.

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By Selina Jane on November 07, 2009 at 08:29 am

Thank you for reading and commenting! I appreciate your feedback.

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By Theresa H Hall on November 07, 2009 at 05:01 pm

I have read advice from other moms through the years, about do something for yourself. I so enjoyed what you thoughtfully wrote and will say that I have never seen this subject presented as well as your article.

Your children are lovely and making their and your memories wonderful, is by doing just as you suggest. Sharing good times with them, because they will never repeat this time again, they just grow up, cherishing is key.

High FIve!

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