As a workaholic, I am constantly in the frame of mind of getting things done and making things work. I really strive to do what is best for my own inner growth and do right by other people. I am not religious or anything. But I really make an effort to treat other people the way I want to be treated.
But being as cerebral as I tend to be I wonder if I've somehow become emotionally detached or just unable to relate to the majority of other women. Because I have gotten to the point where I have to analyze them like a different species or something.
I want to address the issue of female cattiness. Because it really bothers me. It bothers me because I don't project my issues on others. I really don't. And I make a sincere effort to appreciate and acknowlege people. So I really hate when I am the target of cattiness. I also hate seeing other women act catty to one another.
It happens everywhere. In offices, or just walking down the street. It can feel like the evil eye or just a hostile vibe. Or it can manifest as sheer and overt backstabbing. They feel no shame for their feelings and actions, and the cycle continues because as a society, we allow it. We'll scorn a lot of things and judge an aweful lot of celebrities. But the scorn and judgement is almost rarely directed at jealous, immature people.
Sometimes I wonder why cattiness perpetuates. Is there some kind of unwritten code that says that women should not try to be their personal best because they'll make their friends insecure? It almost seems that way sometimes. So instead of relating to each another by encouraging the best in others, there is a stronger tendency to bond by bitching and fixating on other people.
I really wish that women can use their inherent sense of nurturing to appreciate and encourage one another to build strength and realize their own inner potential If this sounds corny to you, its because our reality is so far from this ideal. And the most logical thing to ask, is why?
In psychology there is a principle that says that you can only like other people to the exact extent that you like yourself. So if you see someone and feel some sort of resentment for no apparent reason, the problem is not them. It's your issue. The resentment that you feel is a red flag from your subconscious that there is something that you do not like about yourself. So when this feeling emerges and you decide to continue projecting negativity towards other people, you will not grow.
Who cares? Well the thought of living forever stuck on an emotional level is kind of sad. So maybe we should give a damn.We are all here to truly become all that we are. And the thought of leaving this planet without truly actualizing is a bit sad to say the least. We can never actualize if we live our lives disowning parts of us that we don't like, and worse yet, making other people suffer as a result. This goes for men too, by the way.
Another reason we should care is because having low self esteem and boiling pot of unresolved issues will only hurt our kids when we become parents.
Taking out your stuff, perhaps in the form of immature jealousy and sabotaging behavior is degrading to your soul. I've seen all kinds of instances, including ones where the catty perpetrator copied the target female. Back biting one minute. But copying her the next, instead of aligning with her own sense of worth and conviction. Degrading to say the least.
There are a lot of selfish people in the world, who are not as good as their seemingly flawless appearance may impart. This is what best selling author, Scott Peck discusses in his book, People of the Lie.
But from a compassionate perspective, the reason that selfishness and immature emotional manifestations are fairly prevalent is because of the deep seated belief that there is not enough to go around. I am not just speaking about money and material items. But intangible things like love, acceptance and recognition are felt to be scarce. Women who overemphasize how they appear to others believe that they are not enough. They feel that they have to constantly strive to be accepted and adored by other people, instead of honoring who they are. People who sabotage others feel that there is not enough. Or they feel like they are not good enough to manifest what they want, so they have to take.
It's kind of hard developing impeccable self esteem in a vacuum. It is natural to want support from others. So on a final note we should make it a point to try and see the good in others as much as we can. In turn, it's always a good thing to master the art of self reflection so that we can honestly see ourselves in a truly positive light, whether or not we get approval from others. Not always an easy feat, but worth the effort in the journey of our lives.