Recently two males have informed me that women in NYC are jaded. So I decided to ponder that statement. If NYC women are jaded, I think they have been given enough reasons to feel the way they do.

I have heard too many stories from my girlfriends and have been exposed to some really incredulous behavior from the male species.

Example #1. My friend met a guy at the local gym near our office. He was "unhappily" married at the time so they just became friends but there was definitely flirting going on. This continued for well over a year and during this time, the guy separated from his wife. Guy contacts lawyer and starts the divorce process. A year and some odd months later, guy informs my friend that he is officially divorced and he wants to move in with her. The entire relationship guy tells my friend he wants to marry her. So they end up getting a place and my friend believes (because of what guy has said to her) that she will be getting a ring soon. This is year 2 or 3 of this relationship. Not even 3 weeks into their cohabitation does guy reveal that he is NOT divorced. Hmmmm...if my friend is jaded, then I think she has a right to be when she has been COMPLETELY LED ON for over 2 years.

Example #2. Random guy starts iming my friend. Informs her that he poses for adult magazines and proceeds to send her pictures of he and his photo buddies private parts. He then informs my friend that he is interested in performing certain sexual acts on his buddy but claims he is still heterosexual because it would just be sex and it doesn't mean he is gay or bisexual... Random guy then informs my friend that he would like to meet her and perform sexual acts on her. When she thinks she has blocked him, he emails her. She informs random guy that they will never meet. Random guy then states that she is like every other woman in the city. Uhh, whatever that means? Apparently every other woman in the city doesn't want to be harassed by some guy who wants to experiment with men and is confused about his sexuality?

Example #3. A guy from my past contacts me and informs me he had a crush on me when we were younger. I am curious to learn more about this crush. So after a few months of flirtation, guy says he wants to meet in person. So I agree to go visit him(he is out of state) and he cancels last minute, with a multitude of excuses--the top excuse being that it wouldn't be a good idea...huh? A few months go by, and guy states again he wants to get together. So I tell him he can came here to visit. Again come the string of excuses, this time the primary reason being that he has a dog and doesn't want to put him in a kennel. Ummmm hmmmm. So sick of the game, I rarely contact guy. Guy gets girlfriend but yet still tries to play the game. He evn informs me that he is going away with new girlfriend on a cruise. Guess the dog isn't an issue? He proceeds to tell me that I find him intriguing when in reality, I find him mundane and a little boring. He will never put his money where his mouth is because he is too much of a whimp. When push comes to shove, he is like all men that talk a good game but when you really jump on their ideas, they start shitting their pants because they have no idea what to do and never thought you would call them on their bluff.

Example #4. Guy friends who are married that hit on you and think just because you are pretty and single, it's ok. The best part is when you actually know their wife and like her. Marriage is a solemn commitment, you got married for a reason--hopefully because you loved your wife--and you should honor that commitment. And that fact that a girl is single doesn't mean she is pathetic or looking for attention---especially from a married man (unless said woman has low self-esteem but that is not the case with my friends.)

My friend Janet has a theory about guys in NYC. She says guys have too many options in the city. She thinks that if a guy gets a date with you (you being smart, independent, pretty) then guy thinks he can do better than you so he will just stop contacting you in search of something better. When he finally realizes you were a good catch and someone he would want to date..too much time has elapsed and he realizes that he blew it and has no other choice but to move on.

Guys seems to forget that this is the 21st century and that women don't necessarily need them (please refer to my article on Why I don't need a Man) but that we would like to be in a relationship with them, well. when we find someone that interests us. Some jaded women may say that a guy is only good for one thing. In reality that isn't true. All NYC women have to do is take a quick train ride down to the West Village and make a purchase and she will be satisfied every time.