Tuesday, July 17, 2018

I Was Attacked By A Cougar!

by Ed Attanasio (writer), San Frickin' Frisco, Baby!, January 14, 2009


"Cougar" is evidently the new "C" word, so don't use it, guys!

The other day I was talking to a rather attractive, post-50-year-old woman in a bar when I referred to her as a “cougar”. To say she didn’t appreciate it is an understatement.

“I am not a cougar, you idiot!” she exclaimed. “A cougar is not a nice thing to call any woman and if I was a little more intoxicated, I’d slap you so hard your ears would ring!”

Wow. That was the wrong thing to say. This woman had come at me like a very angry, rabid—cougar. I was surprised by her negative reaction because I thought I was giving her a compliment. I was trying to tell her that she was good-looking and probably capable to attracting young men into her lair. She explained that a cougar was a female who preyed on men much younger than herself and that she considered it a derogatory and sexist remark.

Oh well, I learn something new about the opposite sex every day, I thought. Chalk this one up and file it away under "just another thing I can't say to a woman."

When I told my fiancée what had happened, she had the same reaction (after interrogating me about why I was talking to a hot woman in a bar)

“What were you thinking?” she queried, with a look on her face that always stops me in my tracks. “Don’t be calling women cougars, you slob!”

Ouch! Obviously older ladies don’t like the new “C” word.

So, I did a little research and this is what I found:

First, I went to Wikipedia and saw this definition:

Cougar – an older woman, usually in her 40s or older, who usually sexually pursues men in their 20s and 30s.The term has been used in (American) TV series, advertising and film. The 2007 film Cougar Club was dedicated to the subject.

Then I started Googling all over the Internet to learn more. I found out that cougars have been around a long time. So much so, that there are now cougar dating sites (, cougar chat rooms, cougar social clubs and even cougar clothing lines. Cougar hookups that last more than one drunken night are called “age gap relationships” and terms like “cradle robber” and “baby snatcher” are now considered boorish.

So, now I know. No more calling women cougars. And no more talking to 50ish women in bars. That is, not if I still want to get married to my 46-year-old fiancée in May!

About the Writer

Ed Attanasio is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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9 comments on I Was Attacked By A Cougar!

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By Kim on January 14, 2009 at 05:46 pm

Keep holding the door open, Craig. A gentleman is always appreciated and respect gores a long way with everyone:)

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By Kim on January 14, 2009 at 05:46 pm

oops! goes a long way, I mean. Sorry for the typo:(

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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on January 14, 2009 at 07:16 pm

you cant say nothin' without this political correctness stuff coming out of peoples mouths nowadays... i dont go for it...lifes too short! say it and mean regrets! this is a fun read regardless. oh, by the way...ill take that cougar you got posted along with this story.

keep punchin'

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By Sharlene Hardin on January 14, 2009 at 11:03 pm

I'd prefer to be considered a cougar capable of attracting men of all ages with my scintillating ...... intellect then be considered the sheepishly attention deprived pantiless who need to use other people's quotes in order to derive their intellegence, then when that doesn't work they flash their stash  :D

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By Sharlene Hardin on January 16, 2009 at 09:55 am

Oh and by the by, just because I'd rather be classified as a cougar than one of the little puma neophytes doesn't mean that I actually behave like a cougar.  I much prefer to date men of my own age.    Plus given everything else that is going on in my life or around or nation for that matter, I would (as Ed had intended) consider it as a compliment.

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By Grant William on August 01, 2009 at 08:12 pm

hi ashash.  i believe you called me this morning to announce that i won a 10,000 grant from the Country Bank of America.  Thanx. 

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By Rum-Punch Drunk on September 18, 2012 at 01:44 pm

Seems like you learned a very good lesson very quickly. Don't call women you don't know a cougar. You could have ended up in hospital if you were in the wrong place saying that to the wrong type of woman, especially if her young 'cradle snatching' boyfriend was around. Ouch, would have been an understatement.

Ed, mark my words and focus on the wife to be. Speak not to other women, don't turn you head unless the girlfriend turns your neck, you'll be safer that way.... ha ha ha.

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By Helena Fortissima on September 18, 2012 at 01:58 pm

Sounds like you met with a humorless cougar. As a woman who's turning 50 in a couple of months, I can't imagine being offended by such a phrase. For some reason, Broowaha won't let me vote on your article.

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By Angie Alaniz on September 18, 2012 at 04:13 pm

@helena, I am glad you said what you said because I was thinking the same thing. So Ed, feel free to call me a cougar anytime you want as I would actually smile. :)

And as far as the fiancée goes or the woman whos proabably your wife by now. If I was her and you didn't or wouldn't turn your head to look at an attractive woman when she passed by you......>>> THEN I would worry.

I mean...sheesh, just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu. Thats just crazy.

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