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Friday, November 24, 2017

Letter To Santa

by manny osborne (writer), , December 31, 2008

Credit:

CRAIGSLIST AD, WOMEN SEEKING WOMEN.

Dear Santa...........

" You know I'm a good person, I pay my taxes, I give to the needy, I give to the wanted. I'm only asking for one thing this year, I want the woman of my dreams. I know you can make this happen for me.

   I definitely do not want someone shallow. Or someone who has to look at the physical aspect. Do you know how hard it would be to try to make conversation with a girl who keeps staring at my wheelchair. Trying to figure out why I put spinners on it. Or the girl who keeps looking around, because she can figure out which one of my eyes is looking at her, *sigh*. You know I'm not in a wheelchair and I have beautiful eyes. But you understand what I'm saying right?

   Since the last time you visited me, I was in a bad spot in my life. I'm proud to say that, I'm very independent now. But as you know, when I fall.. I fall hard. I want someone who can laugh at me so hard that they pee their pants. Because what isn't funnier than someone falling down? I want someone to play with my hair and say Don't worry baby, I can take care of you. We'll figure something out. I want that girl that has a good heart, a grate mind and an wonderful soul. Not the kind of girl that stares at me like a deer in headlights when I'm talking.

   I left you cookies like always, um let's see I'm making Oatmeal chocolate chip, chocolate chip and sugar. I decided this year to leave you some soy milk. Because not once I did wonder if you were lactose intolerant. This year I'm looking out for you, I figure you can feed the reindeer the oatmeal chip, reindeers like oats, right?

   In closing I will say that if you don't came around this year with my present, I'm going to be very sad and will give up hope on you, I will intentionally get into a fight so my teeth will get knocked out. I could ALWAYS count on the Tooth Fairy. mmmmmm mmmm MMMMMMM

P.S NO Men

P.P.S.  NO Couples"

I Think she is funny, on her on way, what do you think?. 

 Source: Craigslist.com



About the Writer

manny osborne is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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