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Sunday, November 19, 2017

My Los Angeles Dating Manual for the Holidays

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My Thanksgiving was a feast of men.

The following dishes were served to me:

"A Taste to Reconsider"- Before Meal Sake
"My Friends Want You to Know My Net Worth" - Gravy
"I am More Fun When I am Drunkâ" - Dessert

If you live in Los Angeles and have no plans to visit your family out of state for the holidays you have two choices; complete isolation or put yourself out there to see what the city has to offer. I choose the later for Thanksgiving.

I asked my friends and co-workers what their plans were and received five invites. I attended two and teetered on a third. I had great time. I met new people. I ate, drank and while being merry, I was sized up for marriage; my mother would have been so proud of my reviews.

I don't mind being single mostly because I hate dating. I am an "all or nothing" sort of person. I don't care for small talk. I believe in long-term relationships. I like the idea of intimacy based on the depth of the connection not just based on the desire to be touched. I like men who are intelligent and patient. Who smile with their eyes and laugh with their heart, men who are not afraid to be vulnerable and who are mysteriously sexy. Does it make it is easier to find someone you want to try to be in a relationship with if you know what you want? Yes, of course but you have to overcome the battles of timing and willingness to keep it going. During the holidays, you can enlist all the toy soldiers of Toyland to help you battle timing and willingness or you can wave the white flag going into them, either way it is a entirely different battle field whether you are in a relationship or not.

Valentine's Day has nothing on commercializing the desire to be loved. Retailers know everyone wants to be loved and they capitalize on it. Images of warmth, family, love, and special gift giving are everywhere during this time. Year after year we prove we are emotional creatures and year after year holiday advertising begins earlier to promote more emotional spending. We pay the price with money and with our hearts. During this time people reach out to ex-lovers and estranged family members that only promise to leave a debt on our emotional credit cards that will take months to get rid of. I do not want to be the "Dasher" of hope here but chances are if there was a reason three months ago why it was best to keep someone that hurt you at a distance, the same is true during the holidays. The only thing that can overcome timing, is willingness, both people have to move towards each other with some willingness to be together and make things work.

Unless you lock yourself in a white room with no source of media or entertainment, from now until the end of the year we are all under a holiday spell. We can use it as an excuse to make-out in the copier room with the date we take to our office Christmas party or we can make it the reason why we develop a heightened sense of honesty during this time. Me? - Well, I have already started to wave my white flag with the words, "Keep it Real" printed on both sides. If I feel I need to drive to the mountains, make snow angels and then cuddle with someone in the lodge by the fire, I am going to do it. If I want to have someone to kiss at midnight on New Years, I will. Do I want to speed emotions up for the sake of feeling something special during this time? No, there is magic and memory in the moment without forced intimacy. As my grandmother says, "People are in your life for a reason, season or a lifetime." When the holiday trance is over, I hope to sort through my gifts of reasons and seasons. If there is a lifetime gift in the mix then I will be happy to share the miracle offering with the birth of baby Jesus.



About the Writer

Stephanie Michele is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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1 comments on My Los Angeles Dating Manual for the Holidays

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By Glenn T on November 27, 2006 at 12:47 am
Well played, Stephanie... holiday dating is hell... Best of luck, and here's hoping you get kissed at midnight more than just once this year!
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