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Single Women Taken Heart

by travelingseth (writer), mission, San Francisco, October 20, 2008

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Why many women may be earnestly looking, but not truly available

Finding the one is difficult. Ok impossible. But I always operated on the following commonly held assumption: that if you found Mr or Mrs right-enough, it was only a matter of time. Happiness and rainbows for all. But lately, this assumption is taking fire from an unexpected source. My trusty focus group of single female friends is indicating that a surprisingly large number of them are earnestly looking, but too stuck on an ex (often an ancient one) to be truly single. Their bodies and minds may be single, but their heart is still taken.

Making matters worse, the ex gets idealized over time. Eventually nobody, not even the ex, can possibly measure up. It makes me wonder. Is this why "primitive" cultures put so much emphasis on virginity? Is there something about being first, if not in sex then in love, that trumps all else?

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travelingseth is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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5 comments on Single Women Taken Heart

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By Sharlene Hardin on October 20, 2008 at 07:22 pm

There is a quote in the movie the Wedding Date about women having the exact relationship they want which seems to support your theory. 

And it's not just women, I have a few ex's who have told me that they are unable to find a relationship like they had with me (one of my ex's told me that it's taking 3 women to fill my shoes LOL)  Of course I know that is because that's the relationship he wants right now and I am happy that he's getting a chance to enjoy himself this way.  Personally I think they were just saying that to gain or keep Ex=privileges ~Hahaha.

As for me, I've made peace with my ex's (well the important ones anyway) and I'm keeping an open heart, which is a good place for me at the moment. 

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By Sharlene Hardin on October 20, 2008 at 07:37 pm

Aw, thanks Craig. 

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By sanjanakumar on October 21, 2008 at 09:17 am

Sorry Seth, but I don't 100% agree with your statements.  My friends and I are single, smart and attractive and yet seem to meet men who are hung up on THEIR ex's.  Lately the men seem to be the ones who are stuck on how badly their ex's treated them, that they are incapable of giving a new woman, who is probably a 1000x better than their ex a chance.

Stay tuned...I am almost done with my article that is ALL about this :-)

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By travelingseth on October 21, 2008 at 02:22 pm

Lol.  Awesome.  Hey, I never said it wasn't happening in men too.  I'll even admit to being stuck on my ex for a long time, though I'd like to think I'm 99.999999% over that :)

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By travelingseth on October 21, 2008 at 08:24 pm

Morgana, have you checked out Sanjanakumar's latest article yet?  May shed some light...

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