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Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Rock On!

by 'Mean' Mike Duffau (writer), I'm the boss!, September 14, 2008

Credit:

Politics is a sensitive subject to many of you, but to me I like to throw in some humor to break things up a little bit... enjoy!

Rock On is right! Believe it or not I do know several people in high and low places, and where The President qualifies under? Hell, I don't know. I partied like a rock star with W. Bush a few times and he really is a nice guy to hang out with and when he has a few beers in him, the ultimate wild man is released. When it comes to running the United States... I'll just keep my mouth shut because you already know the answer to that. But I'll open it just this once and then I'm off politics until something else inspires me.

W. called me the other day on one of his leisure time off from the White House, and he wanted to share a few laughs, family life, thoughts and views of my political ideas which I don't really talk about because what do I know? I do have an opinion like everybody else, but maybe my thoughts seem to be far fetched? I was surprised that The President of the United States was asking me for my opinion. Maybe he wanted to make a difference to the inconveniences that he has caused to the American people. Which I believe took  8 years and 99.9% of the United States population to finally pick up on his fraud. Let me make this clear to all of you: I not calling anybody stupid, I just happen to spot B.S. when I see it! I've been around it too long, and I'm not afraid to call you on it. I spotted his act quickly in a matter of one month of his presidency. But that's life... You win some, you lose some.

The following conversation is as follows:

W.
Hey Mike! How are you today?

ME.
Who's this?

W.
It's your pal, Georgie!

ME.
Oh, Georgie! I didn't recognize you! How's it going champ?

W.
I can't complain. Relaxing. Throwing back a few beers. you know, the usual.

ME.
Nice!

W.
Well, not really. I gotta little problem.

ME.
Little problem?

W.
HA. HA. I forgot to laugh.

ME.
Georgie, take it easy man! I'm kidding ya.

W.
I need some advice, Mike! Now, I know what you're going to say and I should have come to you a long time ago. It's never too late to ask.

ME.
Georgie, you should have come to me 8 years ago! You would've been the best President this country's ever had since Nixon!

W.
I know. I know. Don't rub it in. I'm all ears. Tell me what I gotta do to make this a better place.

ME.
Well first of all Georgie. Pull the troops out of the Middle East.

W.
What about the oil?

ME.
You don't need to do business with the Middle East and bomb them for the sake of the black gold, Georgie! There's plenty of other places in the world to drill for oil.

W.
Where?

ME.
Damn it boy! Learn some geography, will ya! There's Mexico, Africa, and even here in the good o' U. S. of A!

W.
If I drill in the U.S. soil, I'd have to raise prices on food, gas, etc...

ME.
No you don't Georgie! If you do that, then everybody would have to work 2 or more jobs and that's not a way to live a life.

W.
I see... I didn't think about that.

ME.
Think about that and think about the day when I can't afford a simple six pack of beer because you raised the prices of some body's happiness.

W.
Gee buddy, I don't wanna do that.

ME.
Then don't do it. It's as simple as that.

W.
Okay, I'm gonna pull out of the desert and make some calls over to that Mexican country to drill some oil there.

ME.
Good, but remember... Have a good relationship with them and don't burn any bridges between them because I wanna continue to eat some burritos every once in a while.

W.
Okay. Will do!

ME.
And what else are you gonna do?

W.
Oh yeah, I'm gonna lower the prices of food and beer! And to show you that my heart is in the right place I'm gonna raise the minimum wage to $15.00 an hour!

ME.
Now we're talking, Georgie!

W.
What else can I do?

ME.
Let's see... Oh yeah! Raise the taxes on those rich bastards who have it so easy and they get away with so much. We have to slave our asses off, while they sit in the lap of luxury without bursting a sweat. They complain about the dumbest shit and if you raise their taxes maybe they will be grateful for what they have and be respectful to the people who serve them and treat us like human beings!

W.
Wow Mike! You should run for office!

ME.
Maybe one day, Georgie. One day. Oh, and by the way... Why don't you go ahead and lower the gas prices back down to $0.99 cents a gallon like it was back in 1999.

W.
Do you think that'll be a good idea?


ME.
Think about it, Georgie? Who in the right mind is going to pay for gas if the prices continue to go up? There's a lot of fat bastards nowadays and they're too lazy to walk or ride a bike, spare them the grief will ya?

W.
I'm really impressed with your knowledge, Mike! I'm speechless.

ME.
Well, there's no need to talk about it if your speechless, so hop to it and get the ball rolling. Make me proud to be an American, Georgie!

W.
Thanks Mike. The next drink is gonna be on me!

ME.
Forget that Georgie! Now that I'll be able to afford the booze, I'll buy the first round.

W.
God bless ya, Mike! Take care and we'll talk soon.

ME.
Give my love to Jenna for me.

W.
Will do, son.


Well, there you have it. Be on the look out for the new changes in the American system in the up-coming months, and you can thank me for it! GOD BLESS AMERICA!

(***Just a reminder***) Don't take it personal! It's only a goof!



About the Writer

'Mean' Mike Duffau is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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6 comments on Rock On!

Log In To Vote   Score: 4
By Glenn T on September 14, 2008 at 06:51 pm

Nice work, Champ!  I hope the new President starts calling you earlier in his tenure... 

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Log In To Vote   Score: 3
By D. E. Carson on September 14, 2008 at 07:23 pm

I knew it was satire from the get-go.  Was a good read.  Really enjoyed it.  A little lopsided on the political front, but I'll let that slide in the name of good, clean fun!

DEC

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Log In To Vote   Score: 3
By Lila M. on September 15, 2008 at 07:27 pm

HA!   you gotta few jabs in there...Nice!

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Log In To Vote   Score: 3
By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on September 19, 2008 at 02:00 pm

glenn: ill make a damn good president!...lol

DEC: it is good clean fun. no dirty fightin' here!

morgana: ill take that offer.

lila: no cheap shots, champ!

gary: yeah, maybe youre right!

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Log In To Vote   Score: 3
By AmyO on September 19, 2008 at 02:18 pm

This was very funny and a good light-hearted political story :)

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Log In To Vote   Score: 3
By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on September 19, 2008 at 02:19 pm

thanks, champ!

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