Having my afterlife, mostly null and void, I often wonder what will become of me if I would so happen to exit the realm of reality, and enter a realm of uncertainty. Of course I would want something to happen, something beneficial to come out of the life I lead, or well have led, something that doesn’t have me question the reason I am a member of this earth.
Being Atheist comes with its questions, and mostly they don’t have any answers. What is the point of life? Most Christians would argue that living a life by following the 10 Commandments will place you into heaven where you could live a life that is suitable for you, and will allow you to see your fellow family members. As much as I would love for that to be the case; I don’t believe it, life is something to short to be taken for granted, and you shouldn’t have to tip toe around wondering if this will piss off God, or if this will wind you in Hell. I still follow the 10 Commandments, even though I don’t exactly believe in them, but mostly I follow the moral code that flows through my veins. I know my right from my wrong, and I know that it isn’t a wise move to kill, to rape, to harm someone, even if what they did was so wrong.
All I want to know is what happens, what will become of me when I am dead and gone. I often ponder this in school when I hear the normal bull shit that flies out of my teachers’ mouths. I ask myself, “What is the point of living?” I now understand why the Christians, the Islamic men and women, Jews, Hindus, all believe that believing in something will send you somewhere far grander, far better than where we are now. For me though, where do I fit in, what is my reward, what is my punishment?
I always contemplated suicide, not for pain, or enjoyment, or sadness, but for curiosity. I do believe I would have the courage to do it, due to my ideals, but I don’t want to be SOL when I wind up dead in a grave and nothing happens.
At this point in my life, I see no reason to live, sure it’s nice to explore, but I don’t believe this was God’s, evolutions, whatever your belief intended way. I believe that we shouldn’t all be working forty hours a week; I believe that we shouldn’t be slaves to Wall Street, and our jobs, house, money, shouldn’t equate to happiness. I suppose you can call me a transcendentalist, but I believe we should all be free from the bondage of our economics, of our societies, shouldn’t have to wake up at 7 everyday and be at work at 7:30.
I believe we should explore, I believe that people’s perspectives shouldn’t depend if a person doesn’t have a home, but if they’re happy with what they have. I think that life should be dictated if you were able to one day, be able to walk out of your house without any priorities and go to a farm, and walk in the pasture, and pet the horses. Go to the Grand Cannon, and jump into the river beneath it. Run until your heart gives out. Dance until you fall. Smile until you have wrinkles.
Life shouldn’t be about bankruptcy, nor should bankruptcy ruin your life. Life shouldn’t be about the lack of funds, instead it should be about the friendships that you had throughout your lifetime. You shouldn’t have to worry about what you wear for a date or a job interview, it’s not about the amount of Alfani clothes you can afford, but instead the person that is inside you.
I understand this view is so far from ever becoming a reality, but inside I believe that there is hope that when I die, something good will come out of the life I live. If it is Heaven, if it is Hell, if it is darkness, or if it is rebirth, I want to believe that one day I will be able to see the earth the way Mother Nature truly wanted her to be seen, without all the cars, without all the swearing, without all the negativity, instead only the beautiful.
It just bothers me that people don’t take the time to look around them, to see what their lives have become. How we depend so heavily on each other, but not so much on ourselves anymore. We should take responsibility for what we do, and never look back. We should be proud with what we have become, and if not, forget about it, and come back another day, or a week later. Life should be about beauty, not hatred and sadness as it is now.
I understand that I threw a million thoughts at you, but believe that I am trying to condense, but it seems my brain takes its own way when it tries to get something out. I enjoy coming here, and I enjoy this place's beauty, if only for a moment, this place was like the rest of the world. A myriad of thoughts, and plenty ideas, and people who stand by them, and that is all the world should be.