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Sunday, November 19, 2017

Going Beyond My Dog Ate My Homework

by AM Nelson (writer), Los Angeles, November 19, 2006

It’s Monday morning. The clock reads 7:05 and you realize the alarm failed. You are going to be late. That is, if you go in to work today. What would happen if you just didn’t call and didn’t go in? Hmmm…what could you do with your day?

On Wednesday your boss phones your home. You let the machine answer it. “We’ve noticed that you haven’t been at work. Please give me a call. We hope everything is alright, but you need to give us a call. My home number is…”

You decide that three days off is enough. You didn’t mean to lose your job. How should you handle this situation? You’re not really irresponsible, just spontaneously needed a few days off. You watched some TV, went for a few walks, and ate a lot of chocolate…really rested up for that big Thursday-Friday push.

In the culture of “pass the buck” why take responsibility when it isn’t necessary? How about a good lie? Here are a few suggestions that have been successful in retaining employment without discipline.

I enjoy collecting stories. I am not condoning, or making any statement about the ethics of such, but just sharing. Here are a few real life encounters I’ve been privileged to hear.

Ask your boss to speak in private. Do not cry.

Man who leases apartments
“I had a personal crisis. You’re right I should have called, but my girlfriend tried to commit suicide,” stated calmly and unemotionally. ”It’s been a tough few days. I’m really sorry. I just want to get back to work. Is that alright?”

Woman who is a receptionist at a law firm
“I’m embarrassed to say. I found out Friday I was pregnant, and had an abortion. I knew I hadn’t been feeling well, but hadn’t considered…they had a Saturday opening and I took it…I meant to call…I just couldn’t talk about it until now. I’m so sorry.”

Man who is an outside sales professional
“My wife had to come get me out of jail. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ve been in all weekend, and my God! Please, don’t let this get around. I’d be mortified. I don’t know how to explain it to my son.”

Man who performs disaster/ mold clean-up services
“This girl came to my door covered in blood and urine. She didn’t speak a word of English. I couldn’t leave her alone. She was scared of the police. I took her in…I know I should have called, I just got so wrapped up. I…it’s been a weird few days.”



Creative, demented, big liars…and employed.


About the Writer

AM Nelson is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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2 comments on Going Beyond My Dog Ate My Homework

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By Glenn T on November 27, 2006 at 02:24 pm
Fun!
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Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By V on December 06, 2006 at 04:02 pm
Oh my God I LOVE it! Thanks for sharing that.
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