Tuesday, December 18, 2018

CSI To Gain New Role/actor

by D. E. Carson (writer), , July 20, 2008

Lead Actor William Petersen's exit leaves an opening for...ME!

This is the 10th season for CSI:Crime Scene Investigation and this will be the second time that Gil Grissom has left the crime lab for some other endeavor. Last time he left, he came back. This time it seems that Grissom's departure will be more of a permanent nature -- perhaps to go find out what happened to Sara or maybe to go slap the snot out of Warrick for his DUI in Palm Springs. Either way, it's a time to say good bye to Grissom and say hello to Adam J. Burke as played by your humble correspondent, D. E. Carson.

And why not? I can act. I've done stage since I was in high school and I've gotten good reviews. Personally, I think live theatre is much harder than television because on the live stage, you have to remember everything in order from beginning to end. Television is like movies -- you come in at your assigned call time, you do the scenes you need to do and then you go home. You get paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $30,000 per episode and you get about three months off to enjoy your money. I would gladly accept the new role on CSI at $30,000 per episode. Then when the original Vegas version finally slips quietly into that good night (say after season 15 because my acting has not only garnered me at least five Emmy nominations, and one actual Emmy and also shot the program back into the top 10 making CBS Thursday night unbeatable as in the days of M*A*S*H and All in the Family) then I can move down to Miami (CSI:Miami that is), revive that show giving CBS another Kick ass Monday night schedule and then finally, after receiving three more Emmy nominations and another Emmy for Adam J. Burke I can move north to (CSI:)New York and finish off there with three more nominations and another statue while giving CBS a kick-ass Wednesday night anchor. All while earning a palsy $30,000 per episode.

CBS Programming chief, Nina Tassler confirmed last Friday that Petersen is planning to leave the CBS staple in the middle of the 10th season and that the new guy will have quite the mysterious background -- genetically. Tassler has also confirmed that the new role has not yet been cast. This is why I'm perfect for the role. They haven't completely fleshed out the new character yet and since I'm an unknown actor, I would be perfect. I can adapt as the writers need so that I can take on whatever mannerisms the new character would play. Additionally, I could save Jerry Bruckheimer Productions some serious money by working for a lower salary than the other characters. I would relish the opportunity to work on CSI for my $30,000 per episode. It's what most new actors get when they start out on a new show. I wouldn't be in it for the money. I'm in it for the fun.

Somebody get Jerry's casting director on the phone for me! I'll be the best investment they'll ever make!

About the Writer

D. E. Carson is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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1 comments on CSI To Gain New Role/actor

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By D. E. Carson on July 22, 2008 at 12:06 am

Geez, what is this a gossip column or a funeral?

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