Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Off The Menu Fast Food Specials


Your fast food choices could possibly end up as a segment on Andrew Zimmern's cable show, "Bizarre Foods."

Reuters news service reported, on Wednesday, July 16, 2008, that a New York man filed a $1,000,000 lawsuit stating that he found a seven-inch knife in his foot-long Subway sandwich. John Agnesini, 27, a designer at Homo Xtra magazine in Midtown, had already started gobbling his "Cold Cut Trio" on June 27, when he spotted the blade inside his lunch. The designer was horrified to find the blade. "After taking a few bites I could tell something didn't taste right," he said, "Then I felt something hard on the bottom of the bread, I turned it over and could see the knife baked inside. He went on to say, "It's shocking. You see this metal knife. I mean, it's one thing seeing a hair or something. If I didn't look at it, could you imagine what would happen? I could've slashed the side of my mouth."

According to the uk, "Mr Agnesini was not badly injured, but became violently ill with "severe stomach issues" for THREE (my emphasis) hours and a doctor told him he had the symptoms of food of food poisoning. Mr Agnesini went on to state the that the knife was "filthy." His lawyer, Yetta Kurland, said it is "outrageous that someone should have to worry about swallowing a metal knife and it was unthinkable that Subway would allow something like this to happen."

Let me get this straight, this guy believes that he should get $1,000,000 for blowing chunks for three hours andddddddddddddd, as he was quoted, "could you imagine, I COULD'VE slashed my mouth." How much more for a stitch or two, two million, three million? Come on, give the world a break. Certainly, he deserves something for his distress but seven digits for stomach ache seems a tad much.

There are many web sites that offer legal topics and links to attorneys that might help you in these matters. They are mostly interested in referring you to an attorney or telling you why you should have one, I found one, "" Guess what? They have a page titled "Foreign Objects in Food Lawyers." I have summarized some pertinent excerpts from their page.

Whether it is the fault of the manufacturer of the ingredients or the preparer of the meat, you may be able to sue for your injuries.


Courts have not allowed lawsuits for objects that can reasonably be anticipated to be in food. Choke on a trout bone, too bad. It's reasonable that there would be bones in trout. "You also cannot sue if you are not actually injured by the object. For example, a hair in food is a foreign object, but you cannot sue over a hair if you are not actually injured by it.

If you find an unexpected object in your food you may be able to sue for your injuries.
Typical injuries that the courts award damage for include:

  • Cuts in the mouth and throat and damaged teeth.
  • Illness due to ingestion of the object

My math tells me that Mr Agnesini draws a winning hand on the second count, but I don't suggest he starts looking at any new "Mid-Town" flats.

Of course, this isn't the first of what I consider "comedy lawsuits" filed on these subjects in general, I refer to them in such manner because they either started as a incredibly bad joke, or were a scam only the Three Stooges could have concocted. And in some cases they were actually true in fact and just amazing.

How about these.

  • The Wendy's Chili Finger ..............In 2005, Anna Ayala ate a bowl of chili at a San Jose, Ca. Wendy's. All of a sudden, she started screaming that she had found a human finger in her dinner. She sued. It turned out to be a real finger but after an extensive investigation it turned out the finger belonged to a friend of her husbands who lost it in an accident at a cement plant. The news almost destroyed Wendy's. Mrs Ayala got nine years in state prison, her husband got twelve.
  • The Clam Condom.......................In 2003 a woman was chowing down on s bowl of clam chowder at a McCormick and Schmick's eatery in Irvine, Ca when she bit down on something rubbery. She had no idea that she was exactly correct. She sued and won an undisclosed amount.
  • Fried Baby Foot..................In 2004, a family in Durham, North Carolina was eating a frozen chicken dinner when they discovered a breaded, fried baby's foot in their meal. It was later discovered to be a piece of dough shaped like a baby's foot inserted by someone at the plant. No one was found or charged
  • There's a Mouse in My Soup............Also in 2004, a woman eating a bowl of vegetable soup at a Cracker Barrel restaurant and found a dead mouse floating in the broth. Cracker Barrel stopped serving soup at all 497 eateries. Turned out the lady put the mouse in the soup in an effort to extort the company. An autopsy proved the mouse died of a head fracture, not from drowning, Ahh, thank god for forensic science.
  • KFC/ Taco Bell food tainted with spit and urine..........July 14, 2008, Sidney, Neb. A police officer and his family won $40,000 from a restaurant that served them food tainted by employee's spit and urine. The employee was fined $100. The jury found the restaurant negligent. One of the children became violently ill and had to be hospitalized.

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.


About the Writer

Steven Lane is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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10 comments on Off The Menu Fast Food Specials

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By icanluvulongtime on July 17, 2008 at 11:32 am

my first reaction to this article is that it is hilarious.  my second reaction is that (being in the food service industry) it is my worst nightmare.  great piece.

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By Sharlene Hardin on July 17, 2008 at 03:44 pm

I was with a friend back in the early 80's when she found something that was baked into the bread (all spare all of you the details of what because it still gives me the creeps).  Of course we were 16 at the time and so the store owners gave us each a big chunk of change NOT to report it (of course $1,000 then seemed like a million) but it's taken me years to eat there again.  Although it's interesting to see that they are still baking things foreign objects into their bread (oh and trust me I check out the bread pretty good before I eat it now).  *UGH*

Good article!

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By Jen on July 17, 2008 at 05:18 pm

I was 17 when I ordered a diet coke from the restaurant with the creepy king and subsequently slurped up a worm.  I still haven't been back to that place. 

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By Steven Lane on July 17, 2008 at 11:06 pm

Never ever, ever send your food back unless it is just to cook it more.

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By wolviela on July 18, 2008 at 06:17 pm

If you haven't already read Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain, I highly recommend it. Lets just say I cook at lot more at home these days!

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By sanjanakumar on July 23, 2008 at 07:20 pm

good article... it reminds me of the book The Jungle by Upton Sinclair

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By Lila M. on July 25, 2008 at 10:44 pm

this was either the craziest or possibly the best hoax of a "mystery item in food".   I do know someone who found a rock in a burrito that they purchased from a lunch that is believable.

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By Alethea on August 04, 2008 at 04:40 am

Those were some horrific menu items... thanks for sharing! =)

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By fletcherhobbs on September 04, 2008 at 02:39 pm

Hey, you never know what kinda person you get for minimum wage. And the employers just look at the bottom line for the most part.

Check out this HIV pos child molester workin at an AMPM minimart in California. Makes me never want too much good stuff again.

It seems to be a large .mov file but it is worth the load up wait.


from down under. Where the winds them blow and then thunder.


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By Jasmina88 on July 04, 2014 at 01:29 am

That is right I think wózki

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