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The 33-year-old marketing manager and mother-to-be recently turned her war writings into a book. “In the Company of Soldiers” is the story of her time in Iraq.
Meichelbock took the time for an exclusive email Q&A with BrooWaha to discuss being separated from her unit, a poignant moment while frisking an Iraqi woman and the important role females play in the military.
BrooWaha: When were you in Iraq
and what was your position?
Melia: My position was a Civil Affairs Specialist (civil assistance,
rebuilding efforts,
elections, etc...). We meet with the local leaders to help rebuild and improve
economic conditions. My rank was Sergeant. I lived in several places -- two
forward operating bases in Tikrit, a safehouse and a patrol base in Samarra,
a forward operating base in Balad, Tuz, and Balad Ruz.
B: You kept a journal
during your service and turned it into a book. Do you feel there is a lack of
awareness amongst the majority of the American public about what is going on in
Iraq?
M: Most definitely. Most of the journalists barely venture out of Baghdad.
Baghdad is not Iraq.
Having lived in several different places I have visited over 50 villages and towns,
most very welcoming. I had a very positive experience with the Iraqi people.
B: Why did you decide to keep a journal to document your experiences in Iraq?
M: I looked for something to read before I deployed and there was nothing out
there from a female perspective. Plus I thought it would be an excellent way to
cope with the stress and something to pass down through generations. My
grandmother was a WAC (Women's Army Corps) and I would have loved to have read
some entries from World War II.
B: What was the most challenging part of your deployment?
M: The constant movement and change. I had the worst luck. I was separated from
my unit from the start. I flew into Iraq
on my own because of mixed up orders, on 9/11 of all days. My bags were lost too.
I lived with strangers and the clothes on my back for months.
The scariest was probably living in the safe house and patrol base in Samarra.
There was always something going on, gun fights and explosions. There were
plenty of times I thought I might die.
Being the only female in most places had its pluses and minuses. You could get
whatever you needed for your team, but there was a lot of unwanted attention
such as staring and even sometimes notes slid under my door.
B: Do you feel like you made a difference during your service in Iraq?
M: Yes, the Iraqi women were wide eyed when they saw me. I think a woman manning a machine gun made quite an impression on them. The kids too. The
little boys were always proposing. I think it opened their eyes to possibilities.
The biggest always broke my heart.
Overall I saw lots of improvement from OIF I (Operation Iraqi Freedom) to OIF
II. The local police and military were starting to take over more.
B: What moment stands out the most to while you were in Iraq?
M: There are so many. The moment that most stands out though was probably in Samarra. I was with strangers, the toilet was a hole in the floor, the shower was in the same place, there was no hot food, and it was practically all men. I was stuck frisking women who were coming in the safe house to make a damage claim from a recent battle (Operation Baton Rouge).
It was fairly uncomfortable to frisk ultra conservative women in 120 degree heat and I usually just kept thanking them in Arabic. I was trying to hold it together and just do my job. I would take the women in a private area to frisk, so that they are not in front of the men.
This elderly lady I had to frisk took one look at me and was visibly concerned, not for her, but for me. I had a strand of hair that had fallen down my face and she pushed it out of my face in a very motherly way. I almost broke down crying. I guess some things are universal and don't require words. She knew how I was feeling from the moment that she laid eyes on me. She said a little prayer over me before she left. I guess it worked because I am still here.
B: Where are you now and what are you currently doing?
M: I work for the California
and Nevada Credit Union League as the communications and marketing manager. I
am working on my MBA. I am eight months pregnant with my first child. My husband
is a green beret I met in Iraq.
B: How has it been adjusting to civilian life again?
M: It took about three months to adjust. You hold a lot in, so when I came
back to the safety of home the flood gates opened. I cried a lot and got annoyed when
people acted petty.
B: You recently wrote an opinion piece
in USA Today that criticized an article
called "Mental toll of war hitting female servicemembers" because it
didn't focus, as you say, on the positive work female soldiers are doing in
Iraq and the many female soldiers who are coping succesfully. Do you have any examples of this from your own experience?
M: Yeah, its extremely irritating that they spotlight only the women that had
trouble. For the record, both men and women experience PTSD (Posttraumatic
Stress Disorder). One of the biggest issues for women in the military is
proving their value. Articles like this set us back.
CNN 360 just posted a similar story and people were responding "this is why women don't belong in the service." I rode out with the Infantry and even did foot patrols through town. We lost a soldier and had several injured. It's tough, but that is war and to be expected.
We're trained to shoot at human targets and avoid mock explosions. Anyone thinking the military is any different shouldn't serve. That goes for men and
women. I just don't like the singling out of women. If they want to talk about
PTSD they should talk about "soldiers" not women. Their selective
stories paint us in a "can't handle it" light, when handling it has
nothing to do with gender, both men and women can have issues or even be heroic.
What was even worse was the women had never even left the base. She was
stressed from hearing bombs in the distance.
B: Are women treated equally in the military or is there a different set of standards?
M: I saw it in other units, but not so much with mine. As with any job, leadership
is top down. In most places I was treated as an equal, even sharing room and
toilet facilities in extreme cases like the safe house. That was hard, sharing
a bathroom!
Occasionally there were base issues I would run into. At one base in
particular they stuck all the female soldiers in one giant room, regardless of
rank and let lower enlisted males have their own shared rooms. That irritated
me the most. They gave lower ranking soldiers better quarters because they felt
it was easier to lump all us females together. But my leadership eventually got
me out. I was lucky in that my superiors supported me as a soldier, not a
woman.
B: What is the overall message your want to get out about females serving in Iraq
and in the military in general?
M: That we kick butt just as much as the guys! Ha, ha. Actually in Iraq we play an important role. Men cannot approach women or frisk them. We play a
key role since the women often hide weapons in their dresses.
I'd like to see some positive stories about what we do to put us on par with
the men. It seems like the men are heroes and the women are just felt sorry
for. It makes me sick to my stomach that someone would rather feel sorry for me
than thank me and tell me I did a good job.
B: What advice do you have for young women who might be considering a career in
the military and the very real possibility of getting deployed to Iraq
or Afghanistan?
M: Prepare yourself mentally and physically as best you can. Read and learn as
much as you can before you deploy. Don't be so quick to judge, you'll learn for
yourself rather fast who you can trust and who you can't. Don't put yourself in
bad situations. I heard about some young women getting taken advantage of
skipping off to drink with the guys, always take another female or trusted male
with you anywhere you go with strangers.
B: Thank you for your time and for your service and best of luck promoting your
book.
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Great, great journalism. I certainly hope this gets picked up.
Good job, Josh.
.