Monday, December 17, 2018

Federline Ousted on Election Tuesday

by Hassassin (writer), Los Angeles, November 07, 2006


On a day that will see major shakeups in the United States Government, a long awaited impeachment has already begun to take place in Hollywood: Britney Spears has filed for divorce from Kevin Federline. Spears cited irreconcilable differences, which could be as simple as being forced to listen to K-Fed’s debut album.

According to, Spears filed the divorce papers today at Los Angeles County Superior Court, and has asked for both legal and physical custody of the couple's two children, one-year old Sean Preston and two-month old Jayden James. Considering her hiring of “powerhouse celebrity divorce lawyer Laura Wasser, who has repped a number of celebs, including Angelina Jolie, Nick Lachey and Kiefer Sutherland”, it would be safe to say that Spears will get what she asks. In a gesture as charitable as it is negligent, Spears has granted Federline reasonable visitation rights.

Appropriately enough, Federline’s new 'solo' career appears to be headed in the same direction as his album “Playing with Fire”. Federline, who married Spears in October 2004, agreed to an “iron-clad prenup”, leaving him burned financially.

News of the divorce couldn’t come at a worse time for Federline, who has been futilely trying to establish himself as a credible rapper. The proceedings will cause as big a blow to his ego as to his pocket. Spears is “waiving her right to spousal support”, leaving Federline emasculated and forced to pay his own attorney's fees.

To make matters worse, Spears seems to have sworn off Cheetos. Appearing on David Letterman, Spears showed off a physique that will make a new round of 16 year old boys want to be a slave for her. One can’t help but think that Spears has been readying herself for this decision physically and emotionally, and Federline has proven to be the first inadequate incumbent ousted this election Tuesday.

About the Writer

Hassassin is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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2 comments on Federline Ousted on Election Tuesday

Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By Annonymous on November 15, 2006 at 09:16 am
How do you go from an article on God, Atheism and existentialism to these idiots. Why do you care about this crap?
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Log In To Vote   Score: 1
By Hassassin on November 16, 2006 at 12:46 pm
"Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down...", do I really need to say more to explain myself?
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