Saturday, July 21, 2018

Who Do I Blow?

by AM Nelson (writer), Los Angeles, November 06, 2006

The new reality TV show, “Who Do I Blow?” is inspiring and touching young viewers across America. Swept up in game show hysteria, combined with viewers’ paradigmatic shift from sitcoms to reality TV, “Blow” embraces the challenge of finding a job in Los Angeles.

Contestant screening is based on desperation, ability, showmanship, previous partners, and desirability. Winners receive starring roles, executive positions, or partnerships to tycoons. The network is considering adding a monetary pot mid-season to attract a new crop of innocent faces. Losers will wear humiliation and be shunned, forced to leave Los Angeles.

Individual contestants are lead through a series of mental and physical challenges, receiving opportunities to eliminate the candidates. Since there is only one correct candidate from a starting group of 50, these games are crucial to winning the show. Challenges of tightrope walking, flattery, and eggshell handling appeared in the first episode.

With a soap-opera sense of editing, multiple contestants are viewed in mid-game within each two hour episode. Contestant Marilyn has already eliminated a large portion of the men and has progressed to the door series. Because she has performed well, it is guaranteed that one of the men behind the three doors is the correct choice. Georgia is just starting the game but isn’t keeping pace in shit-shoveling. Caitlin has made her final decision but has chosen incorrectly. The live audience vocalizes a joyful cheer, “You Blew It!”

Supermodel Brooke Timing is “Blow’s” host. Although articulate and beautiful, she refuses to wear her contact lenses and often cannot read the teleprompter. It is rumored Bob Barker considered the role but passed, stating it really was time for retirement.

Unfortunately, only female contestants are expected this season. This has caused uproar in WeHo. Activists claim that job placement is just as difficult for gays as straights and believe the show is exclusionary.

Recruiters have long been touting that the “day of the resume” is over. Job placement is based on maneuverability in an ever-changing, ambiguous, and socially skilled environment. Contestants who win “Blow” will have demonstrated these crucial talents. Finally, a TV show reflects what is important and useful in today’s world. This expression of truth warms the heart and tightens the pants.

About the Writer

AM Nelson is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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