Friday, July 20, 2018

A Trojan Horse Gallops Through My Life


A thoroughbred from Cyber-Hell with bad intentions slammed my computer shut. $200 later, I'm back in action, pissed off and a little wiser.

I have been held hostage for the last 4 days by a Trojan Horse -- a virus so bad that it locked down my computer and left me stranded at my desktop, impotent and lost without my lifeline to the world.

You never realize just how much you depend on your computer until you're without it. It's my job, my hobby, my surrogate wife (don't tell my fiancee) and everything else, all contained in a little box in my office.

My first impression after all this havoc is--why do people go to all of the trouble to create these viruses? I know that vandalism is a part of life; hey, I trashed a few classrooms and spray painted a couple of walls in my day. I'm no choir boy and never have been.

I can relate to the "Hey, f--k you" mentality a little myself. I know that many people find it appropriate to snap back on the world from time to time. But, to create a completely negative environment for other human beings just for the sake of doing it is beyond on my comprehension...especially now at this time in my life. Maybe if I could pinpoint a purpose I would be more accepting of this whole virus thing.

Maybe it's the karmatic rooster coming back to roost . After many years screwing innocent folks over with senseless pranks and malicious acts, I am being paid back.

When I was a kid and even a young adult, I used to drive around Los Angeles with my buddies throwing eggs and other objects at innocent bystanders. We called is "doing a dozen" and we had a lot of fun doing it. We'd race around in my buddy's 1968 Mustang and give bare asses out the window and flip people off, while pelting them with eggs or whatever fruit was in season. We'd also do the dog sh--t in a lit paper bag on the doorstep trick, as well as teepee people's homes and even got into a little low-grade vanadalism.

Then, in my college days at San Jose State, I took it a step further, as a member of Theta Chi fraternity, the animal house on campus at that time. I could tell you about many of the things we did back then, and you would cringe -- but I don't think that the statute of limitations has run out on a lot of our antics -- so I will leave that topic alone.

Am I being a little too fatalistic in believing that this Trojan Horse thing is payback for all of the misdeeds I committed in my former life? Maybe. Maybe not. I have become a strong believer in karma as I've gotten older, that's for sure. I honestly think that we pay for our wrongdoings in life while we're here on the planet so that when judgement day finally comes, we all go to heaven.

Getting into heaven is like signing up to be a member at Costco. You have to fill out some paperwork, they ask you a few questions, but in the end we all get in. I am covinced that Idi Amin is sitting up there right now with Mother Teresa, breaking bread and talking shop. Her seats at concerts and are a little better and she doesn't have to wait in line as long as he does, but they're all in the same place.

But, this whole cyber-terrorism thing is something new to me. Hackers have become the new anti-socialists if that's the corect term, and now that I have become another victim -- I don't like it.

Some 15-year-old cyber-gifted computer hacking geek in China or Eastern Europe is laughing his ass off right now. And all I can say to him is --okay you got me this time you little s--t.. Your Troajan Vundo f--ed up my weekend. And if there is a God, you'll get hit by car tomorrow!

About the Writer

Ed Attanasio is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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4 comments on A Trojan Horse Gallops Through My Life

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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on February 18, 2008 at 02:26 pm

raging ed, i like it!!!

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By M.J. Hamada on February 18, 2008 at 05:07 pm

Funny article, Ed.  Yeah, they do it for the prank, for the fun, because they can.  They do it to show off their skills.  And to annoy the hell outta Da Man (i.e., Bill Gates and all his creations).

Idi Amin in heaven?  Reeeaaally?

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By yoko ducked on February 19, 2008 at 09:52 pm

stay off the creampie websites ed.

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By Crowbar on August 11, 2008 at 10:10 pm

Too bad it wasn't as simple as some 15 year old.... I totally repected Matthew Broderick in War Games and Angelina in Hackers... but i get pissed off at these corporations that have meetings to discuss either how to make an inferior product or a product that fucks shit up... wasn't this how the Nazi's discussed their little Jewish problem?

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