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POW Buddies Launch Campaign Against Mccain's Many Faces

by Aaron S. (writer), santa monica, February 11, 2008

Credit:

A team of Vietnam veterans are stepping forward against John McCain, saying his facial expressions are so frightening they will bring disaster for the Nation.

In yet another twist to the ever-changing political landscape of 2008, a group of two Vietnam veterans and pro-Huckabee supporters have banded together to form 'Vietnam Veterans against the Many Frightening Faces of John McCain,' or FJM for short, claiming that the leading Republican candidate's facial contortions will spark unwanted hostility from foreign nations, damage domestic goodwill, and scare the shit out of everyone.

Randy Zenker, 68 year old resident of Phoenix and fellow guest of the Hanoi Hilton (the POW camp which also housed McCain), leads the charge of the FJM against "John McNasty." Meetings take place in his basement, where posters of the candidate cover the mildewed walls. There he gathers with nearly a dozen other vets , poring over the latest photographs and videos, watching interviews and rallies, conducting analysis of McNasty's facial expressions.

"This one we like to call Anti-Christ," he says, pointing to a poster board of McCain, his eyes bulging out of their sockets. "Here is 'Streetcar named Desire', which he's been using since Iowa. And this one, 'Get me before the diarrhea does' is also one of the popular ones. He used last week at the Jewish Republican Fundraiser in New York."

Zenker, an expert on nonverbal communication, (learned mostly through books on tape and through his son, Darrel, who is taking a high school psychology class), is convinced that McCain's many faces foreshadow disaster and doom for the United States. "I'm all for kicking some Iranian ass, but John's temper is a goddamn train wreck. And you see it in his face- I mean, faces. You gotta keep your cool. That's what I learned as a POW. McNasty never learned that lesson, ever after 5 years at Hanoi."

John Glenn (no relation to the astronaut), treasurer and Secretary of the Dr. Pepper and Tortilla Chips of the FJM puts it: "John's not normal. Normal people don't make faces like that. He's either part alien, or developing fetus, but not human. There's no telling what could happen when he snaps. How is a guy like that gonna survive when the pressure is on? Huckabee can handle that like he handled Iowa."

The group has begun a serious investigation through an unnamed contact at the University of Austin into whether McCain actually is of primate descent, the result of a genetic experiement, or like some other Senators, made entirely from plastic. If such allegations are proven true, Zenker and Glenn would have enough evidence to raise serious objection to McCain's drive to the White House. "Bob Gr-, shit, I didn't say that, don't write that. This guy who works in maintenance at the genetic engineering lab is getting something going for us down there. We can't really talk about it, but pretty soon America will know the truth."

McCain's camp has failed to issue comment on the organization, in efforts to not draw any press about the issue. Terry Nelson however, who has been involved in the candidate's campaign for the past few months, allegedly sent Zenker an email, writing: The many faces of John McCain are a force to be reckoned with. Do not fuck us, or them.

FJM are held every other Wednesday at Zenker's basement at 8 pm. Newcomers are expected to bring snacks, especially Twix and Kit-Kat. Drinks are provided.



About the Writer

Aaron S. is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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6 comments on POW Buddies Launch Campaign Against Mccain's Many Faces

Log In To Vote   Score: 2
By Aaron S. on February 11, 2008 at 05:50 pm

readers: just wanted to show you the first review. hopefully you can identify the author:

'I wish I could parady this well - sukadick.'

Thanks for the 5 stars!

And how funny do I find ye google ads. The pictures of John McNasty only up the fright factor.

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By V on February 11, 2008 at 06:25 pm
Can't say I know Sukadick. Australia has THE most frightening-looking and unnattractive politicians in the world. It's actually a base criteria for leadership roles in my country.
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By Aaron S. on February 12, 2008 at 12:27 am

Mr. Mael, while this might be true, don't let me or my ghost stop you. Keep at it. The world is full of stories that ask to be parodied. 

Anything signed sukadick will make it to the comment section.  I'm just waiting for the McCain crew to come down and kick my ass.

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By Aaron S. on February 12, 2008 at 12:45 am

McCain is a dick! Read his Wikipedia article. He was a young punk, almost got thrown outta the Naval Academy, cheated on his first wife dozens of times, and wants to reinstate the draft.  Big time dicko. You get extra points for that one!

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By Aaron S. on February 13, 2008 at 12:10 am

I don't think enough people are taking this threat seriously.

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By Joan Westin on December 02, 2009 at 02:41 pm

I take it seriously.

Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld are also troop-haters. The conservatives and Republicans have not only tried to cut troop and veteran funding, they have succeeded. George W. Bush, Richard “Dick” Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are racists, morons, troop and veteran haters, elitists, out-of-touch, war and fear-mongers, U.S. Constitution and e-mail shredders, and traitors to America.

Treason is defined as a violation of allegiance to one’s country, or by acting to overthrow government. Synonyms for treason are disloyalty, treachery, dishonesty, sedition and disaffection. Synonyms for violation are transgression, infraction, infringement, breach, misbehavior, contradiction, thwarting, counteraction, opposition, and contravention. Synonyms for allegiance are faithfulness, loyalty, devotion, fidelity, constancy, duty, trust, trustworthiness, obligation, stability, and fealty. Synonyms for government are bureaucracy and a system of administration. The act of governing is managing, overseeing and supervising. Synonyms for overthrow are destruction, upset, undermine, ruin, crush, displace, disperse, demolish, overturn, subvert, and abolish.

There is A Rise of Treason In America.

Republican conservative Donald Rumsfeld was a student of economist Milton Friedman and what was once know as The Chicago Boys but has come to be known as The Chicago Thugs. Rumsfeld bet the future on plagues. Republican conservative Richard “Dick” Cheney, was an early student of Donald Rumsfeld during the American President Ford’s administration. As Secretary of Defense under American Republican conservative President George H.W. Bush, Cheney bet the future on war, and a private sector McMilitary. Today Cheney’s treasonous bet is known as Blackwater and Haliburton.

On September 10, 2001, CNN Evening News had a story titled “Defense Secretary Declares War on the Pentagon’s Bureaucracy.” That morning, then U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld had described Pentagon employees as enemies of America, the Pentagon as a grave threat to America and declared war on the Pentagon, the institution he had taken an oath of allegiance to.

The Pentagon’s staff, highly educated, trained and experienced in America’s national defense, had devoted their entire careers to defending America. The Pentagon’s staff had successfully defended America, most notably from the Communist Soviet Union. They were now listening to the most extraordinary, and devastating to America, speech ever given by a U.S. Defense Secretary. A speech that violated that U.S. Defense Secretary oath of allegiance to his office and his country. Donald Rumsfeld had gone public with his treason and that he was a domestic terrorist with interests hostile to America and the U.S. government he was now paid to be an effective functioning part of.

Then U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was not looking to save American’s their tax dollars. Nor was he looking to defend America. Nor was he looking to do the job he was getting paid by American taxpayers to do, that being to govern. He wasn’t even interested in his oath of allegiance. Donald Rumsfeld violated his oath to obey and uphold the U.S. Constitution, which clearly defines America’s national security as the duty of the U.S. government. Then treasonous U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, now an open domestic terrorist, ordered every U.S. Department of Defense and Pentagon department immediately slashed by 15 percent while demanding from the U.S. Congress an overall 11 percent Department of Defense budget increase. He then unconstitutionally and treasonously privatized America’s national defense.

One of the then Pentagon employees described their, and the rest of the audiences, reaction to then U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s staff meeting speech that morning. “He was saying we were the enemy, that the enemy was us.”

Then U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s unconstitutional and treasonous actions were lost in the shock and horror of America’s 9.11. 125 Pentagon employees were killed, 110 seriously injured. That’s 235 patriotic Americans that 24 hours earlier, their boss and now traitor to America, Donald Rumsfeld, had maliciously branded as enemies of America.

Traitors Donald Rumsfeld, George W. Bush and Richard Cheney had all declared and made it clear they believed that the job of government, that they were being paid by Americans’ tax dollars to do, was no longer to govern. The horrifying results were the evisceration of the American military, and the rise of a private police force. That rise of a private police force is funded with American taxpayer’s dollars. That unconstitutional private police force is the treasonous Blackwater, a for-profit multi-national corporation that believes it is not accountable to American taxpayers that fund them nor the American Congress nor any American laws, nor even other country’s laws.

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