Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Even Trainwrecks Have Squealing Breaks

by C. Reagan (writer), WEST HOLLYWOOD, January 26, 2008


It may seem that Britney Spears went from schoolgirl to schizo in a blink of an eye. But, her catchy, bubble-gum lyrics paint a different picture...

Almost ten years ago, a blond, petite doe eyed girl sauntered into the public eye. She swung her hips and chewed her pencil, waiting for the school bell to free her from her daunting Catholic education and allow her to change into a sports bra and tell us "my loneliness is killing me".

She just wanted to dance.

Fast forward to today, when that same schoolgirl vixen has morphed into a troubled young mother, a tabloid cover girl and an obsession to many. Everywhere you look, news casters, bloggers and journalists are debating "What happened to Britney?". Meanwhile, we watch footage of helicopters swirling above her as she wanders aimlessly around Los Angeles, swarmed by hordes of men flashing cameras and videotaping every move she makes.

In truth, Britney has been crying out for help for a very long time in the most obvious ways: through her bewitching pop melodies.

Let's start at the beginning....

In her first record release, "Baby One More Time", there are several tracks that contain lyrics that, when thought of a second time, seem sort of....strange.

In "Born to Make You Happy", Britney coos,

"...I don't know how to live without your love, I was born to make you happy..."

Is she singing to a lover OR is she singing to the public? "Please don't stop loving me, I am here for your entertainment!"

There was a time when we, as a public, stopped loving Britney. After her heavily reported breakup with Justin Timberlake, his insulting "Cry Me a River" video painted her as a cheating harlot, who broke his heart while collecting tiny fairy figurines. The world backed J. Timberlake. But what about Britney?

Take her song "Lucky", from the "Oops I did it Again" record. Britney presumely is singing about a movie star, sad and alone, with only the public to keep her company. With lyrics like "If there's nothing missing in her life, then why do these tears come at night?", I can't help but be reminded of her infamous interview with Matt Lauer. Britney smacked her bubble gum into the hearts of the prime-time viewers, her pasty, post-pregnancy thighs calling out to us through her rivers of mascara asking, "Why DO these tears come at night?".

Obviously, her song "Everytime" was a desperate outreach to the public. "Everytime I try to fly I fall..."? 'Nuff said.

Even after getting pregnant and meeting the, once thought-to-be love of her life, Kevin Federline, Britney kept throwing us not-so-subtle hints at her unstable pysche. In "Someday (I will Understand)" she sings to her unborn Tater Tot, " ...someday I will understand, in God's whole plan and what he does to me. Oh but maybe, someday I will breathe and I will finally see, see it all in my baby.."

It's too bad Britney has pushed herself so far that she can't see ANYTHING in her babies anymore. She's not allowed within 500 feet of them.

Even in her latest album, chock full of dance anthems and mindless lyrics, she manages to pull a few heart strings. In "Heaven on Earth" Brit-Brit proclaims over and over again that she will "...move across the world for you" and that she "...falls of the edge of my mind...for you".

"For who?" we ask.

Not for your children, who you can't show up for court to win back. Not for your family, who are spiraling out of control almost as fast as you did. Not for that paparazzi boyfriend, who she claimed not to even know last week.

Maybe it really is for us. The public. Regardless if she's stomping around in a two-sizes-too-small sequined top on the VMA's with a broken nail, crawling around in an airplane for an award winning music video or just getting a coffee, we seem to be riveted. Wondering how low she will fall, how bad her hair looks and which pair of cowboy boots she strapped on today, we continue to consume all things Spears.

Perhaps we are just waiting for her to disappear, to drop off the radar, to OD or to just plain out commit suicide. Then we can move on to bigger and better things, like Jamie Lynn's baby and who signs Brit's boys up for their first book deal.

One thing's for sure. I bet that Britney endorses Clinton. The lyrics say it all....

About the Writer

C. Reagan is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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