Friday, July 20, 2018

What Are You Looking At?

by 'Mean' Mike Duffau (writer), I'm the boss!, January 12, 2008



Who hasn't been stuck on the 405 freeway when one may think it's rush hour traffic, but it turns out to be an accident. Now I don't wish that upon anybody, but I'm talking about those on the opposite direction slowing down just to get a glimps of the wreckage. This is known as rubber-necking, or whatever word you have for it. A freeway incident is not a side-show attraction. It's just going to cause another accident and everybody in traffic would be sh_t up a creek. It's obvious that it's an accident, just move forward without staring. Whats to look at? It's the same song and dance! MOVE!...simple.

I don't know what it is with the staring going on nowadays? I didn't make any specific theory or statistics because there isn't a record of the folks out there with a staring problem. Another time when I'm driving through a neighborhood at a cautious pace and a couple of guys walking on the sidewalk turn their necks in my direction and the staring begins. I only stare back at them because it annoys me! They look away. As I pass them I look in the rearview mirror and sure enough they're looking back at me. I could have put the car in reverse and asked if they had a problem, but I'm not going to stoop down to their level.

I don't know if this is an L.A. thing to stare at other people to see it they're wearing the latest gear or what? I don't know if it's a body language or a lack of politeness. (make your own judgement) It's just uncomfortable and I have to look the other way. Just the other day I was waiting for the elevator and the door opens up, and what stood before me was this tall indian fella like the guy from the movie polterguist. Soon as the door opened his eyes were glued on me. He didn't say 'hi' or not even a smile. He had on a deadpan expression, and I gave him a dirty look as he walked past me. That happens to me alot and I don't know why?

When I was back in New York, the folks out there just look at you for a second and then on about their business. Simple! I remember when I walked into White Castle Burger and the people eating inside just looked to see who came through the door for a split second, and went on to eating their lunch. There's no time for a staring competition. Folks in L.A. say they're in a hurry to do this and that, but they seem to have time to stare at you.

Staring is an epidemic! If you see someone who is obese, you stare. If you see someone who is crippled or has a handicap, you stare. If someone has a genetic deformity, you stare. These are folks that are different and special and are trying to fit in with the rest of humanity. So spare the stare, will ya! I don't think that there's anything that stands out about me, but people keep staring.

I was at restaraunt one time and not in the best of moods. This particular gentleman walked past our table and gave me the look. I let it slide. He comes by a second time and does the same thing. I asked the girlfriend if this guy works here? She says 'no'. He keeps looking at us and he's looking at what we're eating, I told her. He comes by again. I'm gonna say something to this guy! He walks by one more time and I made sure he got the point when I gave him a hard look. That was the end of it. As he left the restaraunt he didn't look in out direction. The girlfriend tells me that filipino people have a problem with staring.

So now is this a cultural problem with staring issues? I don't think there's an answer. I'm not going to go any further on that because I have no other proof except from my experiences and from what the girlfriend has told me.

What about the gals who have huge boobs and wear tight shirts only to expose their clevage? I'm not going to lie, I'm guilty when my eyes stare at them! It's difficult to take them seriously and I really try to look at their faces instead. The only thing I can do is walk away cause I can't stand the temptation.

Staring seems to address one another without opening the mouth. If you got something to say, say it! It's just that simple. Staring is not a conversation! I don't know what you're thinking! I cant read your mind. I don't have telepathy! If you think you may know somebody? Don't just stand there staring at the person because you can't place them where you've seen them before. Walk up to them and say what you're thinking. That way it spares being uncomfortable. Simple!

Some say you can undress someone with your eyes, and I find it to be true. Here's my example... There's this young, rich, spoiled kid who lives in the hi-rise condo that I work at and everytime I open the door for him he gives me this piercing stare. His eyes seem to pop out of his face when he sees me and I can't hold a conversation long enough without looking away. I feel like he has x-ray vision and he sees right through me or sees right through my uniform. Either way, it still makes me feel uneasy. Especially when men do the staring.

Do me a favor, will ya? If you see me somewhere on the street? Don't stare at me. I'm no freak of nature over here. If you think you know me from somewhere? Smile and stike up a conversation. I ain't gonna bite ya! SPARE THE STARE!

About the Writer

'Mean' Mike Duffau is a writer for BrooWaha. For more information, visit the writer's website.
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8 comments on What Are You Looking At?

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By Steven Lane on January 12, 2008 at 09:04 pm

One of the main reasons I work at the beach..yup. I gotta do my rubbernecking and take your inventory too!

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By Ladymaggic on January 13, 2008 at 02:51 am

Grin!!! You would hate it in China and Korea.

The chinese just stand and gape as if I was wearing a funny suit and have shaved my head. They have not seen foreigners before, in many of the places I am now in, and they simply stand and stare. I give a wide smile back and say 'Hello' and it breaks them up. They will push children forward to just say hello, or worse still, get near to the foreigner, but they are so kind and friendly, that I don't feel imposed upon.

Korea was worse. They stare very rudely or look straight through you and actually walk into you as they walk past. This is cities..the country folk are friendlier and kinder and very gentle. I don't mind being their highlight of their day/month/year....maybe lifetime.

Living here is like being in a continuos Fishbowl. Everyone stares..students, teachers, men in the street, shop people, and children. I have realised my light hair and different colored eyes must be very different when everyone here has black hair and black eyes...but like I said, I smile back and usually get a shy smile in return, and invariably, an almost petrified kid shoved forward to 'say something in the English' that they do learn at school.

Generally people stare at you if you are different in some way...very good-looking, tall, with an attractive partner, wearing smart clothes or the opposite, as well as the freaky, disjointed, and sick you must be on one relax and enjoy their surprise to see you looking so well and having such a good time..

Nobody stares at normal enjoy whatever you are projecting for it must be good.

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By DLFerguson on January 13, 2008 at 12:52 pm

I know exactly what you mean.  The past year or so I've noticed that people staring at me as if I owed them money or something.  I actually stop and check my clothing, thinking maybe my fly is open or I've got birdshit on my shoulder.  I'll be driving in my car, stop for a red light and the person in the car next to me will actually turn and stare at me for the whole time that the light is red!

My wife thinks I'm imagining things but I don't think so.

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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on January 13, 2008 at 02:15 pm

ed- right on about the travis bickle line...'you lookin' at me?' i gotta use that!

j&t- i figured you're a rubbernecker.

steven- i gotta go to the beach more.

laddymaggic- thanks for the kind words. i still like to see the great wall of china, but maybe in the off season.

dlferguson- i hate red lights too.

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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on January 13, 2008 at 03:04 pm

J&T- RAWR!!!

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By Jen on January 13, 2008 at 05:52 pm

1.  Re: Rubbernecking- If I've been forced to wait in line for a show...Im going to see it.  Usually isnt worth the ticket.

2.  Sometimes I stare off into space not really seeing anything in front of me later realizing that I've been staring at someone...err...looking through someone.  If that has ever been you I heartily appologize.

3.  I too have noticed an awful lot more "staring", but I've chalked it up to "looking off into space."  Feels less creepy that way :)

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By D. E. Carson on August 16, 2008 at 07:01 pm

When I get stared it, it makes me feel special.  I like to think it's because the latinos or blacks who are staring at me have never seen a white boy before and I am their first.  I hope they enjoyed looking at my white skin because I like to remind them that they're on my rock now!

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By 'Mean' Mike Duffau on December 20, 2008 at 01:17 pm

the staring over here is getting worse and worse. most folks have NO class! i have to stare back to prove a point, then they look away...

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