Dear Trader Joe's, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your consistently excellent selection of wines in the $5-$10 range. The one thing I would ask is that you consider making an affordable selection of half-bottles available, for those of us who are single and end up polishing off an entire bottle every time we come home from your store, because we were taught to waste not want not.
This unfortunately has turned into waist not, want knot for me and many other of your single shoppers, but the possibility of tying the knot recedes ever more, as our bulging waistlines make it much more difficult to meet our match beneath the Hawaiian sea salt chips and dips. Indeed, the 750ml bottle only policy also impedes our chances, for it is a fact that when the opposite sex sees those big bottles in our carts, they immediately (possibly as a result of a Learning Annex course) assume we will sip it with a significant other.
I predict that if you introduced reasonably priced half-bottles, Trader Joe's would become renowned not only for good victuals, but as a place to meet the gourmand of your dreams. The half-bottle in the cart would become to heterosexuals what the bandana in the back pocket is to our gay brethern; indeed, they too might purchase half-bottles on days when they do not have a bandana handy. Please, TJ's take heed; for there is truly a need. Yours sincerely, Single and Thirsty in San Pedro